and
Constantly
Vast
Evolved
Theun Marez Female and Male: Uncovering the Secret of the Female Principle About the Author The author was born in Zimbabwe to a miner's family. His mother was a natural seer. Having inherited the gift of vision, Theun from early childhood mastered this art and teachings of the Toltec tradition. Toltec means “man of knowledge”, and the Toltec tradition is a system of ideas about life, the universe and the role of man in this world. Based on his knowledge of the unity of all living things, the author uses the gift of vision and practical training to discover the basic truths that lie at the heart of all true religions and worldviews. In his books, he reveals the meaning of these most important truths, which for many centuries were repeatedly distorted, refracted and forgotten. In addition, Teun Marez shows how to use these truths in practice to achieve revolutionary changes in our thinking, our world. our areas: The author's life path covers a variety of performing arts, education and business. Now Taun Marez and his wife Marianne live in Cape Town. The author devotes himself to work on new books, teaching and developing training programs for adults and adolescents.
Environs
Behavior
and
Teun pursues two main goals in its activities. First, it seeks to reawaken in us the understanding that the meaning of life lies in the evolution of awareness. Second, he explains how best to do this.
His message is that there is only one way for us to create a hopeful future, not a world of destruction. This way is to educate the heart of openness, allowing to cover life in its entirety. Such an approach is the opposite of disunity, indifference and withdrawal from reality.
To embrace life in its entirety is to face all trials, not to avoid them. This skill means education.
respect for the world in which we live and for life in general. It helps us understand that all our actions affect others. In addition, it requires a constant willingness to respond flexibly to the outside world, to act on the basis of the response of others. Immersion in itself just cuts us off from all living things. The general conclusion of Theun’s message is that the correct evolution of awareness is possible only as a result of practical experience. A senseless waste of time on empty philosophical reasoning, abstract logical games and attempts to escape from reality only lead a person further away from practical experience, real worries of life. In the material world, only one thing is really important: to live a full life, to experience and fully embrace all its facets, both good and bad. This is necessary to cultivate a sense of belonging, a sign of a caring, truly living person walking the path with the heart.
Marianne, the most magical female energy in my life. To share my life and the Way of the Warrior with Marianne is a great honor for me.
In addition, I give this book to Elizabeth, Don, Moya, Ursula, Inge and Louise, women who are absolutely exceptional.
Watching them discover their mysterious feminine potential brings me special happiness and inspiration.
Dear women,
Foreword
When Teun asked me to write the foreword to this book, I experienced the feelings we all know: the excitement of the opportunity and the fear of the upcoming assessment of my abilities in such a new area for me as writing. As in so many other life situations, I had a choice: surrender to the power of inspiration or let fear take away my strength. Like any real woman, I have made a choice in favor of inspiration.
I think women will understand. Too often our hearts give way to reason and logic, denying the intuitive. It deprives us
Life and spontaneity are the qualities that make us women. By yielding to prudence, we voluntarily exchange female traits for male logic and eventually become either “second-rate men” or something like a rug at the door.
As you read this book, you, its female readers, will repeatedly face a similar choice: many ideas about what it means to be a woman may initially seem strange and contradictory.
But if you trust your intuition, you will enter a whole new world.
To navigate this world, you will need to frankly assess your knowledge, believe in the possibilities of your feminine energy and innate potential.
Moving to the fourth grade, the student understands that he successfully completed the third, and, therefore, will be able to overcome the next school year. You should believe that, too.
Since you have come into this world as a woman, your main potential is a female space. What is female energy? Looking at the surrounding women, it is easier to understand that does not apply to this concept.
Indeed, after all, female energy is not a powerful woman who treats her life partner like a child, believing that she can do everything better than a man. It is not the eternal “little girl” who masks the desire to manipulate others with touching helplessness. This is not a prima donna that is only concerned with itself and therefore attaches importance exclusively to the external side of things. This is not a "business woman" who secretly believes that women are worse than men and should constantly compete with them.
To be a real woman means to possess courage and dignity, to personify an equal male, although the opposite pole.
This book is a road map, a list of starting points from where you can begin your journey to discover your femininity. In the game of life, as in any other game, no one turns from a beginner to a champion in one day.
We can only experience all the wealth of life if we learn to perceive victories and temporary retreats correctly. If you are ready to show courage and listen to your heart, this path will be fascinating and diverse, just a magical journey.
I wish you success!
Marianne
Introduction
the City
based
By modern standards, the content of this book is very controversial. It challenges most of the accepted norms and perceptions in Western society regarding male and female. Therefore, you should treat it with a certain openness of mind, which will allow you to perceive the material presented impartially. This approach is components. First, you have to convince yourself that (just because you live in this world) you are a unique person with a special life task, and belonging to the female sex is part of this uniqueness. Secondly, you should read this book, because you want to learn more about the most important mystery - about yourself. Third, you should be honest with yourself and accept the idea that all your previous ideas about women may be wrong.
critical
three
In other words, if you don’t see anything special in yourself and don’t set important tasks for yourself, this book is not for you. It is better to give it to a friend, whom you consider a person more significant, and then go in search of another book, for example, about “rags” and “martyrs”. Send this book to the trash if you are convinced that you are not hiding anything mysterious or have long understood all the intricacies of female nature. Finally, this book is definitely not for those who live boring stereotypes
to
Levels
Single
Downhill
Modern society, bound by social conditioning. The book is intended for those who have enough self-esteem and passion for adventure, who are ready to defend their uniqueness and peculiarity. Perhaps someone admires the now popular desire for inconspicuous mediocrity, but this does not apply to a real woman. Realizing with all my heart that to be a real woman is to dictate fashion, and not to follow it, such a woman looks at others with sympathy and sincere pity! For them to wear the same dress as another woman, it is regrettable, though forgivable, but to adopt other people's ideas is simply unthinkable self-humiliation! Such women are unanimous in only one thing: being a woman is the highest honor, giving each female representative unique privileges. Thus, only by maintaining a difference in opinion, they can unanimously preserve their uniqueness and peculiarity. Wherever such a woman appears, men freeze with delight. She brings a man into complete confusion when, politely smiling compliments, gratefully squeezes his hand and immediately switches his attention to someone else - another man who is eager to please her, or a rival who is already releasing claws (corrects his hair or clothes) and sharpens his teeth in an arrogant smile. At the sight of a real woman, the rest of the representatives of this sex regret that in their youth they paid all attention to the desire to surpass young men, and not to comprehend the meaning of the female principle. If you want to get the most out of this book, you have to stay true to your goal — yourself and the mystery that is called the feminine principle. Otherwise, you will continue to follow false patterns, and your life will not change at all. In order to maintain this fidelity to yourself, try not to forget that some rules are set by men and women, and others by fate itself. Most women (including those who consider themselves freethinkers) follow only the laws of society. Blindly submit to fashion or join the ranks of those who defend the new-fangled social meaning of conditioning, to follow the laws of society. The real woman,
Substitute
ideas,
which is aware of its uniqueness, does not share social prejudices and prejudices. Guided solely by her own considerations, a real woman follows only her individuality and, like the Mona Lisa, smiles quietly at the naive efforts of feminists who with foam at their mouths sacrifice their own femininity in the name of femininity! Like other women of this sex, a real woman sometimes acts extremely irrationally, but, unlike other women, she never behaves illogically!
I’m a man and wrote this book from a purely male point of view, but I want to give it to all real women as a sign of respect for their unspeakable mystery — a mystery that not only fascinates and excites delight, but also awakens an irresistible desire in men to solve it.
This mystery is completely paradoxical. It is clear, but always slips away, keeping beyond reach. Real femininity, which is always felt, but always at a distance, remains a strange, inexplicable and wonderful mystery! How sad it is that in the pursuit of freedom, most women sacrifice the feminine principle, frivolously exchanging this riddle for the fashionable idea of gender equality. If a woman needs to be freed, it is not from her own feminine principle, but from the widespread idea that she is somehow worse than a man, from the opinion that to be born a living mystery means to become a victim of the whim of fate. Perhaps this book will at least partially refute this terrible lie and return to women the well-deserved recognition and dignity to which they are entitled from birth - due to the reverence that men evoke.
Part One The mystery of the male and female beginnings Chapter One. Acquaintance with the world of women
Neglecting the obvious for the sake of intellectual complexity, people have lost touch with their feelings, including those feelings that are inherent in the mystery of male and female.
No one can explain how to become a woman, because they are all so different. Any woman can tell that femininity is personal to her, but this is unlikely to help others, since there are no identical people in the world. Men can describe what they think women should be, but should a bird be taught to swim? If you want to enter the world of a real woman, you first need to know what he is, and then learn to live in him, make him your own. This advice may seem like a strange mystery, but it’s actually very simple. Why not? The secret is to understand that you don’t need to go somewhere and look for something. The reason is simple: you are already where you need to be, and you have everything you need.
However, before proceeding to the study of the world of a real woman, we must understand that the concepts of “female” and “male” refer to special states of awareness, and awareness lies in ourselves. The latter is especially important when it comes to the male or female gender. Since you were born a woman, you have a certain gender, you are not just “it”. In a practical sense, this means that you are the opposite pole to a man, not a bizarre sexless being somewhere between those poles. At the simplest level, you can say that there is your body - the body of a woman, and you yourself, living in this body and having type. awareness built around the psyche of the female Of course, awareness is unlimited - at least, should not be limited. It can be developed to any level and in any direction. In this book, we will describe the possible ways of developing awareness of our potential.
The word “potential” comes from the Latin rotentia, which means “ability, strength.” Thus, when we speak of potential, we are referring to inner abilities and powers that you may not even know existed — and therefore have never tried to study them. In the name of clarity (not prejudice), let us call a woman’s potential femininity — as opposed to masculinity, the potential of a man.
Based on this definition, we come to the fact that you live in a body that is physically attributed to the female, have awareness, which is also called female, and the potential called femininity. To strive to develop any potential, except your own, means to renounce your own potential, and what is good about it? However, it is surprising that many women are trying to become men, and vice versa, and all this in the name of gender equality. If nature wanted to be single, everyone would be born a hermaphrodite! Attempts to become genderless are simply meaningless, because everyone already has their own potential for femininity or masculinity.
WOMEN'S WORLD = THE STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND AND MAKE YOURSELF
Woman = floor = your physical body
Female = your awareness
Femininity = your potential
The purpose of this book is, first, to offer real means of reconnecting with a sense of one's own femininity and, secondly, to provide information that will allow this feeling to be used to develop its potential. Neither I nor anyone else can do more, no matter how hard he tries to convince you otherwise. No one can give you an understanding of what it means to be a woman - each of us must master this knowledge on our own. However, there are certain means and information that will be invaluable in understanding the true nature of the world of women and will make it their home.
Life is not an intellectual process. Life is feelings.
Chapter two. Reaching its potential
When faced with a mystery, you should not forget that you are faced with the unknown.
Only fools are so ignorant that they make a smart appearance in the face of the unknown.
The wise are humble enough to surrender to the power of their senses.
In trying to solve the mystery of the feminine, we must at least understand a little about that incomprehensible secret, which is called the evolution of awareness. However, the range of issues in this book does not allow us to immerse ourselves in technical details that can be a real test even for the most developed minds. If you want to know more about it, refer to the series of my books "Teachings of Toltec"*(Teun Marez, under "Return of the Warriors", "Sophia", Kiev, 1997 g.; Tsun Marez, "Scream of the Eagle", "Sofia", Kiev, 1997; Teun Marez, “Tumans of Dragon Knowledge”, “Sophia”, Kiev, 1998), where the topics that we have to touch here only very superficially are fully covered.
Header
General
What
Our
language,
Simplify
Before addressing what it means to be a woman, we should go back to a fact so obvious that most people simply do not pay attention to it. Generally speaking, this topic has already been touched upon: all people are spiritual entities living in a physical body. In this book, I will use my own terminology, but you can of course go to any other that you find more convenient. I'm just trying to find a mutual understanding with you. In my view, which is similar to the views of most great religions, a person is a spiritual entity that has acquired flesh. It doesn’t matter if it happens only once or many times. Whatever we believe in, the spiritual essence — that is, you yourself — is incarnated. We can say even more precisely: it is not the spiritual essence that is incarnated, but the awareness is settled in the physical body on the material called the embodied consciousness by the dreamer, but we do not necessarily follow this terminology at all. If you like, you can call it the soul embodied by the person, the "Higher Self" or any other word. The main thing is that you understand what I mean when I talk about the dreamer. Remember, this is about awareness.
existence.
Toltecs
Plan
When it comes to awareness, or dreaming, it should be remembered that the “female” and “male principle” indicate the opposite poles of its existence. When we speak of the female principle, we mean a certain pole of the dreamer’s awareness, and not the bodily characteristics of the female sex. The material body is only a manifestation of female potential, and it is this manifestation that we call “woman.” Obviously, this means that you, the spiritual entity, have already embodied one pole of your awareness on the physical plane, settling in the physical body of a woman.
the bodies,
NB. Moreover, this pole of awareness is not only what we call the “female principle”, since it also has a potential that has the nature of femininity. It follows from all this that the common goal of embodiment is to unlock this potential — in other words, to fully develop an awareness of what it means to be a woman.
Apparatus and
It can also be said that to be a real woman means to fully reveal your potential on the physical plane - femininity. If this statement seems too obvious to you, look around. How many of the thousands you know
Can women be called real women? Do you consider yourself a real woman?
Chapter three. Origin of male and female
The secret of male and female principles is the key to understanding evolution. The one who has mastered this secret receives unlimited power.
In the preceding chapter we have concluded that the concepts of “male principle” and “female principle” point to two poles of awareness, and through the act of incarnation we manifest one of these poles. It follows that in every woman there is also a man, and in every man there is a woman.
two poles, male
Given nature personifies the human spirit, and the female - the physical essence, that is, these polarities are the embodiment of man. Toltecs are called respectively nagual and tonal. It is the interaction of the two poles that determines the evolution of awareness. Thus,
MEN'S = NAGVAL (human spirit) WOMEN'S = If you have already begun to suspect that I am preaching gender inequality, let me explain everything in more detail. First, do not forget that we are all spiritual beings in physical embodiment and therefore, regardless of gender, have nagual and tonal. Secondly, it should be remembered that when we speak of male and female principles, we mean states of awareness, and awareness in general is relative compared to other states
states of awareness - regardless of the form of their physical manifestation, male or female. In my book Oh That Happiness!* I explained the relative nature of awareness, and now we will have to focus on the consequences of this relativity and consider the generalized scheme of phenomena described below. Approaching life philosophically, sooner or later we come to the eternal question "Who am I?". Although the answer to this question has already been given, we still do not understand what it means. Obviously, such a question can be answered only partially, since we are able to speak about ourselves with confidence only from a material point of view. Let’s not try to find an answer to a question that is beyond our capabilities. We should rephrase it so that it allows at least a partial answer. Let us ask ourselves, "What is the 'I' which is called the tonal?" or "What is the 'I' which is called the material essence?"
As we already know, the self, which is our material essence, is the tonal * (Teun Maree. “Oh, that’s happiness!” "Sofia", Kiev, 1999 g.) has a physical body, not only having sensory perception, but also able to perceive from the point of view of emotional reactions and emotional impulses. This is our manifestation on the physical plane. But is that all there is to me? Although many materialists and atheists tend to answer this question in the affirmative, no sane person would agree with such a simplistic definition. Just think a little and we will quickly realize that somewhere “inside” us lies the essence that governs not only the material body, but also emotions and thoughts. What is this essence? We have called this embodied dreamer particle awareness. I said “particle” because the dreamer is fully aware of the spiritual essence, and we have already said that in the material world there is only one pole, male or female.
There are many possible definitions of tonal, but in this book we will use only one of them. The tonal is all that we know about ourselves, for even the part of our awareness that controls the material body, emotions, and thoughts also refers to the tonal, that is, the embodied entity. We know nothing about the other pole of our awareness and the spiritual essence itself. Therefore, for the sake of clarity, we call the tonal everything, and the spiritual essence, the nagual, nothing, since from the point of view of physical beings the spirit is something of which we know nothing. So,
NAGUAL = NO — THING
TONAL = ALL
The consequences are quite obvious: the tonal is life in manifestation, and the nagual is life unmanifested.
The interaction of spirit and tone, male and female, leads to the evolution of awareness.
This reasoning brings us back to the concept of potential, for the only purpose of embodiment is obviously to unlock potential: spirit is embodied by the desire to explore its own potential. Thus, the spirit is not only the source of any manifested life, but also permeates all this life. In simple words, the spirit manifests itself in order to know the still unknown facets of itself - its potential. But first he must separate what he knows from what he does not know, what he already knows about himself, and what he does not yet know.
knowledge,
means
Permissible
Practically known use. It can be compared to money in a bank (that is, a positive account balance). The unknown is understood to mean our potential knowledge, which cannot be applied until it is materialized in any way (so to speak, deposited into a current account in a bank). The process can be compared to a profitable transaction: until it pays itself off in the form of cash, the income from the transaction will remain extremely potential. So, if the known can be compared with a positive account in the bank, then the unknown remains something negative, these are funds that have not yet been received by the account. The scheme arises:
KNOWN = POSITIVE
UNKNOWN — NEGATIVE
Like any calculating entrepreneur, the spirit seeks to expand its business (to carry out the evolution of awareness), to reveal its full potential, to expand the sphere of the known at the expense of the unknown. Do not forget, however, that the physical entity, or tonal, is,
In fact, all and includes all the facets of manifested life. Thus, it is by definition chaos and order, light and darkness, positive and negative, male and female. But if the evolution of awareness moves in a reasonable way, then even at this level the spirit needs to separate one pole from the other. It is this process of what the Toltecs call gender division. Remember that so far it is only about existence at the level of pure awareness - awareness of the spiritual essence.
becomes the beginning
You can’t say that some facet is more important than others. The question is that one pole should be separated from the other — it is necessary for the smooth flow of the evolution of awareness. It is also obvious that in this process to determine the course of evolution should only know. Could it be otherwise? If the spiritual entity does not separate the known from the unknown, but tries to apply the known to expand awareness, is evolution possible? Is it possible to manage money without having money? By asserting that what is known is positive from the unknown, we mean at the same time that the tonal is dependent on the spiritual essence, not only in terms of the incarnation itself, but also in terms of the direction of the process of evolution. To make the analogy clear again to businesses.
comparison
We are
The question,
this
C
If you have your own business, it exists because of you. Without you, it wouldn't have happened. Your business depends entirely on the time, effort and resources invested in it. You are doing this because the enterprise has great potential, but if you do not direct your knowledge to its development, the matter is simple.
will fall apart. In this comparison, the matter should be considered a tonal, and you yourself a nagual. As the driving force of your business, you take a positive side to it. From this analogy, it is clear that by virtue of the structure of life itself, the tonal is a negative and feminine element in relation to the nagual. Why female? Just as a man produces and stores fertilizing sperm, so the spirit "highlights" and carries a vital purpose. Without purpose, without such “sperm”, neither conception, nor birth, nor, accordingly, manifestation, incarnation, is possible. This reasoning applies to women: if she is engaged in business, then in relation to him plays the role of the male principle. Although she manages her business according to her sense of purpose, the business would not exist at all if she did not give it life and nurture it. Of course, you can argue: why the carrier of the purpose is not able to be a female principle? But think about how illogical this argument is. Have you ever heard of a person who was born into a business whose existence would be determined only by that business? Such an argument is absurd and is a sure sign of a perverse mind advocating gender inequality. Although many people do become “births” of their own business, this enterprise can not be called the source of their origin, people contradict the natural laws of life - as well as the actions of those who advocate gender inequality. Even a business woman does not set the purpose of her business. She simply directs it according to her sense of purpose, a goal that is set by her inner spirit, the true masculine principle in a woman’s life on the physical plane.
and behavior
such
It is not difficult to understand that, since the feminine is negative to the spirit, it is by definition unknown to the spirit, that is, its potential. Of course, this potential is a manifested life, a tonal. Since the tonal is everything (light and darkness, male and female), it is absolutely necessary for the spirit to separate one polarity from another. The final result of this separation is a physical being, male or female. This
The creature has masculine or feminine awareness, as well as the potential for masculinity or femininity.
Power
with a man. V
If we look at how this manifests itself in the material world, it becomes clear that the physical entity called “woman” also occupies a negative position in relation to the physical entity called “man.” This is due to the fact that a woman is connected with a man in the same way that the female consciousness of negativity unites all women are (in the truest sense) a mixture of chaos and order, light and darkness, male and female principles - this is the mystery of the female principle. It is based on the fact that, being the personification of the tonal, a woman, in fact, is everything. This does not mean that the female principle is something bizarre. It just has a completely different configuration, different from the male beginning, as it includes two pronounced faces. Continuing to deepen our knowledge about the female, we will understand the true meaning of what was said, and for now it will be enough to remember that this mystery is unknown to the spirit. Thus, from the point of view of the male principle, the personification of the spirit, a woman is a big mystery. In fact, the feminine principle is a big mystery to itself, although women rarely admit it.
FEATURE OF THE WOMEN'S BEGINNING (understanding)
TONALS = ALL = All the manifested life
Both:
Chaos and Order
Light and Darkness
Positive and Negative.
To sum up, we can all be said to be spiritual beings with the awareness that we call the dreamer. This awareness has two poles, the masculine and the feminine. Thus, at this level of existence, we are all hermaphrodites. In order to reach our full potential, we need to develop awareness and, therefore, separate the known from the unknown. In turn, this leads to sexual separation: depending on our approach to unlocking our own potential, we embody either the male or female pole of awareness.
In the first case, we get the male body and approach life from the point of view of the spirit, that is, the known, and in the second we find the body of a woman and perceive life from the position of a tonal, unknown. However, when meeting the unknown, it is important to remember that it remains a potential until it turns into the known. Being a potential, it by its nature contains everything: positive and negative, light and darkness, male and female - just as any business venture can potentially bring both success and failure. Therefore, although we as spiritual entities have no physical sex and at the same time are both male and female, for the full realization of our potential, we need to first manifest it, that is, incarnate in the material world. Such an embodiment leads to the separation of the sexes, that is, to birth in a male or female form.
If you are a man, it is simply a division into the known and the unknown, but the embodiment in the form of a woman in a certain sense means maintaining the inseparability, the unknown. As I have already mentioned, the description of the practical side of all these processes is beyond the scope of this book, but even thanks to such a simplified understanding of the concept of the sexes, we can already speak with some knowledge of the mystery of the feminine. So, suffice to say that if you designate the unknown X, and the known - V, then the separation of the sexes, the man is determined by the combination of XY, and the woman - XX (which, incidentally, is reflected in the structure of chromosomes).
This fact has many consequences, which are based on one important statement: without the right interaction between the male and female principles, the evolution of awareness cannot become a reality.
reasonable and eventually comes to a mess similar to that prevailing in the modern world. Since the unknown is always a mystery, the mystery of the woman cannot be solved to the end, but thanks to the cooperation between the male and female principles, the unknown can be consistently included in the known. Only in this way can men reach their full potential of womanhood.
and women -
Masculinity,
In a practical sense, this means that the mystery of a woman remains insoluble, and the potential of the female principle cannot be fully revealed if it is not combined with the purpose and, consequently, with the life of the male principle. This is because the man is the order.
He is the knower,
Toto
By revealing her potential, a woman cooperates with a man, helps him by, firstly, balancing, secondly, mutually complementing, and thirdly, supporting him when he claims his rights to power. Below we will talk in more detail about what this means, but first we should study the dual nature of a woman.
Chapter four. The dual nature of the female principle
We already know that the female principle is both order and chaos, light and darkness, positive and negative, male and female. Toltecs define this duality as a pair of "mother-woman". Due to the relative factor of awareness, the mother acts in relation to children (regardless of their sex) in the role of the male principle. Therefore, the Toltecs call the male principle in a woman a mother, and the female - just female.
In any relationship, including relationships with men, a woman can play the role of either a mother or a true woman. A woman who directs her own business, in business matters, manifests as a mother, that is, the male principle. Similarly, a married woman who makes all the most important family decisions herself also manifests herself mainly as a mother.
You should understand what this means (especially in marriage). In simple words, in such cases, the spouse becomes not a husband, but a son. From the point of view of the husband himself, the wife is not his wife, but his mother, while he himself feels like a little boy.
The above state of affairs is the main cause of problems and lack of happiness in most marriages, since a woman sooner or later gets tired of the role of a mother in relation to her husband and having sex with a "son", and a man, in turn, gets bored when he is constantly told what and how to do.
The number of possible outcomes of such a situation is almost infinite. For example, a husband may become acquainted with younger women who are less likely to treat him as a son, and a wife may become interested in a man who does not need maternal care. As a result, the spouses move away from each other or divorce. In attempts to establish his masculinity, a husband can become aggressive and even reach physical cruelty towards his wife, and a woman can show even greater power in trying to force her husband to become a real man. This can lead to a complete breakdown of marriage, an outbreak of violence or simply withdrawal (turning into an eternal “little boy”) from the husband. As a rule, such problems arise because the husband does not fulfill his true function as a man and the wife is forced to assume the role of a mother.
Chapter five. Myths and reality
Although myths are born of ignorance, we must not forget that all reality is veiled by myths. You need to take care not to throw the baby out with the water.
By looking at yourself and then at all the women around you, you will quickly realize that you can rightly consider valuable knowledge gained from your own experience, even those precious crumbs of knowledge about true femininity that you possess. Generally speaking, if you are honest with yourself, you will have to admit that most of our knowledge about yourself is based on two sources of information: the first is related to the material existence itself, and the second is related to information that is imposed by social conditioning.
Think for a moment: who are you? Understand that you are not a name. The name is intended only for identification, its necessity is caused solely by the existence of a material body. Without him, you wouldn't have a name. Besides, without a body, you wouldn't be a woman, or a wife, or a mother, or a teacher, or anything else. You are not your body!
As we have already found out, you are not your feelings and thoughts, because you are able to manage all this.
As for the second source, the information imposed on us by social conditioning also does not tell us anything about who we really are. This information is based solely on the opinions and beliefs of others, which in turn are based on false and biased ideas. Moreover, the only purpose of imposing this information is to limit us to conventions, to force us, first, to come to terms with someone else's prejudice and, secondly, to join the perverted activities of the majority. The underlying belief is that the truth is determined by the majority, and the person who dares to go against the will of the majority is mistaken. Therefore, if we want to understand the mystery of the sexes and, in particular, the secret of a true woman, we need to carefully
to sift everything we think we know to separate myths from reality. I used the word “sifting” because it must be remembered that any, even the most daring fantasies, are somehow based on reality. Therefore, we cannot afford to simply discard the already known in an angry impulse to get rid of the imposed false conventions, prejudices and delusions - somewhere under this, after all, the roots of the truth are buried in a disorderly pile.
Nevertheless, I must warn you that in trying to separate myths from reality, you will repeatedly be visited by a desire to resist the ideas outlined in this book. The reason lies in the long centuries of oppression, inequality, injustice, suffering and struggle of women around the world trying to free themselves from such humiliation. With all this in mind, you might get the impression that I want to bring women back to the dungeon they're just starting to get out of. Of course, I have no such intention. I hope that by thinking about the contents of this book, you will understand that I am not going to suppress women at all. On the contrary, I am doing everything possible to free them, to restore the dignity and respect that they have been denied for so long.
In addition, I must note that I do not set myself the task of considering all the existing myths and problems in the pages of this book. I have chosen only the nine most common myths, but their detailed analysis will make it clear that they essentially give rise to all other misconceptions. By talking about the nine fundamental myths, we learn enough to reveal the meaning of any other myth.
Part Two. Nine Myths and Their Hidden Meaning. Chapter Six. Myth One: Women Are the Weaker Sex
This myth has many interpretations, most of which have nothing to do with the truth. The true meaning of this myth is that the female principle is in relation to
Male negative position. As already noted, this does not mean that a woman is inferior to a man in something. The male and female principles are equal and are the opposite poles of the dreamer. Immersed in the consequences of this idea, we come to the conclusion that, being a negative polarity, a woman not only balances a man, but also complements him in all respects. A woman supports a man when he claims his rights to power. Thus, when it is said that a woman is weak, it is not a literal meaning, but the role she plays in the life of a man. To understand this, let’s talk about the listed ideas in more detail.
What does it mean to balance a man? Since the female principle is negative, a woman sees a lot of things not at all like a man. Instead of always agreeing with him, a real woman will express her opinion to a man.
This does not mean that a real woman willfully objects to any words of a man; just that her opinion shows new facets of what a man already knows. However, although the opinion of a woman may indeed differ from the views of a man, she does not reject his point of view, as most men tend to believe. By offering a man a different perspective, a woman actually helps him overcome the narrowness of views that sometimes arises from excessive focus on the problem in question.
Any question can be considered from several points of view. The man is a hunter. He tends to focus excessively on his victim, and at times this narrows his thinking so much that he no longer sees the problem as a whole. The reason is that in a concentrated state, a man forgets everything except the current task, “closes” on it and as a result is no longer able to see other ways, other approaches. The following example will help clarify what is being said.
Pierre does not like his job and was very happy to have the opportunity to do a new business with his friend John. However, while discussing this proposal with his wife Cindy, Pierre notices that she listens to him attentively, but does not experience the same delight.
When Pierre asks what it is, Cindy says that she does not like all this, and it is not about the proposal itself, but about the person from whom it comes.
Reflecting on Cindy’s words, Pierre recalls that in the past, John has repeatedly given reason to doubt his reliability. The man is impulsive and prone to hasty promises in an attempt to win the approval of others, John very often does not keep his word. Pierre was so focused on wanting to change jobs that he completely missed it.
So,
meaning
genuine
This story clearly shows how Cindy helped her husband to move to a broader and more balanced point of view on John's proposal. However, that a woman balances a man is even deeper. Generally speaking, a man is always focused on positive potential, since his goal is to catch up with the victim. If he, like Pierre, is looking for a new job and finds something to his liking, he focuses solely on how to get this job, that is, neglects the unforeseen circumstances that may be associated with it. Naturally, it is not only about a new job, said refers to any choice in the life of a man, whether it is a new home, leisure, beloved woman, ideal and even a trifling habit! On the other hand, a woman in whose nature to protect and protect is not only cautious, but also suspicious. As a result, she always pays attention to the negative and easily picks up any catch. However, these natural qualities of a real woman challenge social conditioning and often bring on her various troubles: accusations of pessimism, irritability, vindictiveness - simply in sterility. Unfortunately, men often angrily accuse their wives of pessimism, refusal to support their ideas and undertakings. In fact, a real woman never tries to undermine a man’s faith in herself, she just wants to open his eyes to the negative aspects of the phenomena.
Speaking,
The real man only welcomes these efforts. They do not harm him, but, on the contrary, give self-confidence, since they allow you to see the situation from both poles. Instead of being angry at
A woman’s negative approach, a real man always listens to her opinion — and, if this is a real woman, she will try to show him all the negative aspects of the matter. Since none of us has the right to think and decide for the other, a woman will only express her point of view, and the man will make the final decision himself. If a man appreciates the views of a woman, he will certainly take her opinion into account. Many relationships between a man and a woman end badly only because they did not have such reasonable cooperation, and the main reason for his absence is self-doubt.
Men for various reasons often do not believe in their abilities as a hunter and miner, that is, they feel uncertainty in their masculinity. This uncertainty usually manifests itself in one of two ways. In the first case, a man begins to fiercely defend his ideas. If the wife expresses a negative opinion, the husband tries his best to prove that he is right, and not the wife. In the second case, whenever the wife emphasizes the negative side of the matter, the man immediately agrees with her, that is, he leaves her the right to make a final decision. However, in both cases, the man inadvertently deprives the woman of self-confidence: she is either afraid to express her opinion in order not to cause anger and resentment of her husband, or makes all the decisions on her own, after which the husband sooner or later accuses her of power. Both options are bad. What's left for her to do? If a man is so insecure that he takes up the business only after the sincere approval of his wife, she will have to either agree with every word of it (but then why does he need it?), or take on a male role in this relationship (that is, really get full power!).
In the absence of reasonable cooperation between a man and a woman, their relationship is divided into two types. In a relationship of the first type, an insecure man constantly suppresses his wife, who loses the right to her own opinion and turns into a doll. In the second type of relationship, the weak-willed man behaves like a "little boy", and his wife plays the role of a "mother" explaining to him what, how, when and where to do. In the first case, the man is doubtful.
The model of masculinity does not perform the functions assigned to it by nature, and the woman is deprived of any role at all. In the second case, the role does not have a man, and the woman performs the opposite, male function.
strong,
good ones,
Significance
Although this problem seems quite simple, in practice everything is much more complicated. It takes two to dance tango. To make relationships and long-term, efforts must be made by both man and woman. A relationship cannot be built on just one partner. In order to achieve reasonable cooperation between the sexes, both parties must understand what it means to be a man and a woman, and be able to apply this knowledge in practice. This is the real difficulty, because even in cases where both men and women have the necessary knowledge, they can not change long-established habits at one stroke. For example, a man simply can not believe in himself for one day, and a woman - in the blink of an eye to trust a man. Building a good relationship with the opposite sex (not to mention marriage!) takes time and patience, desire and perseverance. However, if both have the necessary knowledge and are willing to put in the effort, even the most unsuccessful marriage can be turned into a pleasant and happy one. To do this, spouses need to understand that men and women think differently and, therefore, consider problems from opposite points of view. Continuing to analyze the deep meaning of this myth, it is easy to understand that the second fact (a woman complements a man in all respects) essentially follows from the first. If there is reasonable cooperation between a man and a woman, they do not compete with each other, but together try to achieve the necessary clarity. This contributes both to the strengthening of their relationship and to the successful achievement of common goals.
From this point of view, we often see how the relationship between a man and a woman is upset because a man either does not listen to the opinion of his wife at all, or obeys her in everything, that is, shifts male responsibility to her. In the first scenario, the woman does not make any attempts to “complement” her husband’s efforts for fear of upset him.
To become a real tyrant. In the second scenario, the woman also does not support her husband's efforts at all for the simple reason that he does not undertake them at all! In this case, a man most often does only what, according to his wife, needs to be done, that is, she does not complement him, but simply uses him for her own purposes.
The solution again seems simple, but in practice everything is much more complicated than it seems. The difficulty is that a woman should learn to retreat and give a leading role to a man, and this is not so easy, especially if a man hesitates, doubts, shows indecision and uncertainty. And yet, if you want to become a real woman for your chosen one, and not a “mother”, you have only one choice: to retreat and give him a leading role. In other words, you either obey a man’s destiny and help him achieve your common goals, or you follow your own destiny and rely on a man as an assistant in achieving your own goals.
This will be easier to understand by example.
Suppose you meet me. My purpose in this life is to discover and spread the teachings of the Toltecs, so that humanity will receive the information that will help it to get back on its feet, to turn this imperfect world into something brighter and more pleasant. Depending on your nature, you will either find me crazy or take the idea with interest. If you like it, it is likely that we will have a relationship, the center of which will be the teachings of the Toltecs; believing in what I do, you will try to support my work, supplement me with all available means. In that case, you will not only support my purpose, but also allow me to play a leading role in the realization of what will already be our common goal.
On the other hand, if you like my idea, but you try to take the upper hand, that is, impose your will on me, it will mean that you do not consider me a sufficiently knowledgeable person who is able to achieve such a goal. Thus you
Unintentionally undermine my faith in myself; soon I will lose the remaining confidence and pass the reins of government to you. Another option is possible: realizing that by your actions you deprive me of faith in myself, I will begin to resent such domination, persist and, frankly, I will offer you a ride far away!
If you think I'm crazy, then we're unlikely to have any relationship, let alone marriage (unless I really go crazy!). No man will maintain a relationship with a woman who thinks he is crazy and declares it - just as no woman will marry someone she thinks is a loser! If you’re surprised that I say such obvious things, think about it again!
or,
because of
often
very
absence
Marriages of mutual understanding are more accurate, cooperation, but the lack of reasonable cooperation does not mean that one of the spouses is out of his mind. The third fact also follows from the previous two. In fact, it becomes the result of their practical implementation. When there is reasonable cooperation between a woman and a man, and a woman complements a man in the implementation of his destiny, there is only one thing for a man: to use both positive and negative to assert his rights to power. This power is manifested in self-esteem, self-confidence and, consequently, the realization of its purpose and purpose.
The concept of power is also beyond the scope of this book, and I recommend that a serious reader read this principle after reading my books in the Toltec Teachings series. Now it will be enough to say that power is knowledge gained from personal experience, as opposed to information from someone else's hands. Knowledge gained from experience can be used in solving current problems and problems, they are useful in a practical sense. Knowledge is power, while ordinary information is comparable to a shot at random, it has not yet been tested in practice, it lacks genuine power. Intellectuals usually say that information has no less power than practical knowledge, but this opinion is caused by
It’s just that these people mistakenly think of “power” as something external. True power lies within, not outside, and cannot be lost or taken away. A man with a gun can be called powerful, but only as long as he has a gun. The force will disappear as soon as this man gets his gun out of his hands. Similarly, you may assume that the boss has power over you, as he can fire any subordinate. Indeed, as long as you believe in the power of the boss, he really has the power! But if it happens that you stop depending on the whims of the boss, where does his power over you go? She'll just disappear!
Real knowledge is self-understanding, and anyone who knows himself must be reckoned with because he has real power. So, if you just read the information in this book, you will increase your amount of information, but you will remain as powerless, devoid of power as before. Information in itself is completely devoid of power.
On the other hand, if you start to use the received information, apply them in practice, the result of the volume will be personal experience, and the result of experience will be knowledge of yourself and others. With this knowledge, you can change yourself in any direction. In other words, theoretical information can be compared with general ideas about how to write computer programs, but what good is it for a person who does not know how to handle a computer? If he knows how to work with a computer, he can write any program thanks to this knowledge - this is the true power. The same is true for the human being: if you do not know who you are, than the information you have accumulated will remain useless. When thinking about modern humanity, it is sad to realize that most people have great potential, but do not know their own “device”, which is why their potential power remains beyond reach. Anyone who doesn’t understand computers will be completely confused when trying to get a computer to do something useful.
Back to the main topic of discussion. Now you know what we meant when we said that a woman supports
huge
a man when he claims his right to power. The very presence of a woman allows a man to accumulate a stock of practical knowledge about himself. To understand this, remember that each of us has an inner double of the opposite sex, but since we cannot communicate with this double directly, we need its external reflection, a mirror on the physical plane. Thus, a woman is for a man a reflection of his own female double, and if he understands this, a reasonable cooperation will be established between them - after all, there is no point in arguing with a part of yourself or not paying attention to it. By helping a man claim his rights to power, a woman, of course, also uses a man to support her own inner masculine principle!
From this it is clear that a woman can only touch supporting a man on the physical plane. Otherwise, she will suppress her inner masculine principle, but what is the point of suppressing a particle of herself?
The inner man,
C
But what does that really mean? In simple terms, we can only achieve integrity by recognizing and cooperating with our internal counterparts. Is it possible to achieve something significant in this life without achieving inner integrity?
As for men, the negativity of the female pole is necessary for them to achieve clarity in the purpose, direction and mode of action. Without the consent of both polarities, there can be no clarity. If we are not able to evaluate all the pros and cons, positive and negative, there remains at best a one-sided — subjective, not an objective approach.
The same is true for women, although the consequences will certainly be quite different. Since a woman needs to maintain the inner masculine principle, not to suppress this particle of herself, she needs a man, a reflection of the inner double in the external world. Thus, she can support the inner masculine principle only by helping a man in the outside world, which means that she needs to submit to the leading role of a life partner. If a woman does not want to dominate her own man
At the beginning, to suppress it, she has only one choice: to transfer the reins of power to a man on the physical plane. Only in this way can it support the inner double. Any other way of acting will only push her to the role of a mother, and soon she will be a real punishment for any man in sight!
Do you like to suppress men? This is your choice, but then do not complain about fate, if your personal life does not go well, and all the men around you show hostility to you. If you want to become a real woman, you will quickly realize that she is not weak and acquires real strength when she allows herself to obey the leadership of a man. Let's see what that means.
It has already been mentioned above that the riddle of the female principle can be solved only if it is combined with the awareness of a man. Thus, the awareness of a woman must first become part of the known, and this is possible only with reasonable cooperation between a woman and a man. When a man includes it in his world, that is, the known, natural negativity of a woman turns from a threat into a useful tool. As a result, a woman can focus on how to become a real woman, because she no longer needs to compete with a man. Once included in the equation of the man (known), the woman acquires self-worth. She does not try to force a confession from men (which is practically useless), since those by ship listen to her and pay great attention to her advice. The irony is that if a woman wants to become equal to a man, she must first step aside and give him the leading role. Then he is happy and willing to give it up to the same level! If this seems chauvinistic to you, I ask you to think it over again. We do not make the laws of this world. We are all products of life, we are born in it, men or women. We have the right to choose how to treat it. We have a choice: either to act against these laws, or to make them work for us. Finally, we have the most important choice: to assert our rights to force or to waste it.
Men who try to enslave women achieve only one thing: they suppress one pole of their full awareness, remain one-sided and subjective. As they lack objectivity, they become increasingly self-absorbed, which robs them of their inspiration and creativity and ultimately turns them into losers. By suppressing the inner feminine principle, a man deprives himself of strength, because instead of including the unknown in the equation, he limits himself only to the known, to himself (or rather, to the little that he knows about himself). He knows almost nothing about his inner double and therefore simply cannot include the unknown in the equation. Refusing to listen to a woman’s opinion, such a man loses clarity, his views are vague, and his goals are vague. Having nothing but goals that he himself does not really understand, a man loses the sense of purpose and direction. As a result, he spends his life doing what I personally call “spiritual masturbation.”
Similarly, when a woman seeks to suppress men, she manages to embody only one half of the female consciousness - the one called the "mother". A woman does not even suspect the existence of an internal male principle, as well as the true purpose and true role of a man. She has no respect for men. This means that she does not respect her masculine nature, a part of herself. How can you value your heart but despise your liver? You either respect your whole body or despise it completely. Even if you sincerely believe that the heart is more important than the liver, neglecting the liver will quickly lead to death. The desire to become a mother to all who fall into her field of vision will quickly turn a powerful woman into a toothless and barren old karga. Yes, she can get some power over people, but what will it give? Do you personally want this? Is that “femininity”? Who do you think men are - "little boys" who listen to their "mommy" and from time to time entertain her in bed?
Women are not the weaker sex at all, but they are often considered weak, since a real woman consciously withdraws to the side and obeys the leadership of a man. However, when the real
woman gives the leading role to a real man, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he was trapped stronger wolf trap. A real man understands perfectly well what an innocent look of a woman who slightly bowed her head means. Let her smile affectionately, but deep down he knows that it was she who chose his leadership, waiting for him to point her in the direction. She made her choice, and the man has no choice. He knows that now she will somehow track him, manipulate him, push him in the back, do everything that can make him claim his rights to the power of a man. By gaining strength, he leads them both to the realization of what she feels is the destiny of the man and her inner masculine nature. All this time she will sincerely encourage and support the man, her faith in him will remain completely unshakable. What kind of man can resist such temptation? Which man will come to mind to run? A real woman may seem weak, but behind this "weakness" lies her greatest power over a man and those women who exchanged a skirt for men's pants! In discussing the first myth, we have simultaneously laid the foundations for the analysis of the next eight and therefore will be able to spend less time on them. We will also see that they are all closely related to each other. It will be much easier for you to understand the meaning of these myths, if at the end of each chapter you will make a list of everyday mistakes that you can recognize thanks to the information received and the principles learned. By following this advice, you will quickly determine the causes of your errors and be able to eliminate them, change your behavior. Remember that true strength lies in understanding yourself.
Chapter seven. Myth two: women are defenceless
The deep meaning of this myth is that a woman should be able to communicate in the true sense of the word. To understand this statement, let us first find out the meaning of the concept of "defenselessness".
Most people do not understand what it means to be defenseless, because in their minds there is only one idea: "Here I am, but here is a big and evil world, where everything and everything is against me!" As a result, they develop a powerful instinct of self-defense, and they do not even realize that no one, even friends, can break through such armor to them! What about the life partner? Needless to say, he is the greatest threat!
Confrontation and the instinct of self-defense are different things. If someone threatens me in any way, I have the right to meet this person face to face and, if necessary, protect myself physically. But here we are not talking about physical protection, because our task is to find out what it means to be a real woman. As you have already understood, for this we are exploring awareness, and awareness is not subject to physical threat. Therefore, in this case, under the threat we understand that threatens our vision of ourselves, our favorite theories and beliefs, as well as — most importantly — established ideas. But if we really want to get to know ourselves, why would we want to cling to all this junk? We must welcome this threat, show absolute defenselessness, that is, not erect barricades between ourselves and the opponent.
Prejudice
Favourite
Our
and
People hate being told their mistakes, mistakes, and weaknesses. We prefer to think that we don’t have these weaknesses, and every time they lead us to failure, we either try to hide their existence or get angry at those who notice them. It's a familiar painting, isn't it? But think about how unreasonable and useless such behavior is. If you spill hot tea on your husband's lap every time he asks you to bring him a cup of tea, why be angry when he says it's better to put the cup on the table next to him rather than reach right into his hands? If you want to become a real woman, you should not defend what constantly leads you to failure.
When we want to achieve something — for example, learning to play a musical instrument or tennis, getting a degree or learning what it means to be a real woman — the most
We need a willingness to be open and defenseless. In other words, we need to be completely honest with ourselves. It’s just silly of you to think that you play the violin perfectly when you’re actually only able to extract the lamentable squeaks and moans out of it, or to think of yourself as a professional tennis player when you can’t even hit a soccer ball with a racket the size of a bicycle wheel. Moreover, it is quite clear to everyone around you that you not only do not know anything, but are also stupid in addition, because you do not want to admit it! So what’s the point of attacking everyone and everything? The only person you can hold on to is yourself.
If you are always on the alert and desperate to justify every word you say and every action you take, you do not know what openness is, you are just a fanatic who does not know the difference between a defensive position and a confrontation, that is, a face-to-face encounter with yourself. In self-defense, the main point is to protect something that you have acquired in the process of social development - prejudice, belief or an established idea. Defending this, you simply seek to prove your point, even if everyone around you clearly sees that you are completely unable to play tennis or the violin. The desire to be always and in everything right has nothing to do with true opposition. Confrontation is when you are honest enough with yourself to openly and defenselessly confront your own shortcomings, when you notice them yourself, or when some kind person points them out to you. I say "good," and that's what I mean. Unkind people will not tell you about your flaws so as not to incur your anger — instead, they will make fun of you behind your back. Only a good person to whom you really care will point you to your mistakes and mistakes.
Of course, being defenseless does not mean turning into a rag that everyone can wipe their feet against. This means that you, as a real woman, should be open and defenseless enough to interact, firstly, with men and, secondly, with meaning.
Freedom. In examining the first myth, we have already considered what it means to interact with a man. Other aspects will be clarified during the study of the following myths. But what about the idea of freedom? Freedom from what?
The idea of real freedom is deep enough, but in this case, we will have enough of its superficial consideration. Deep down, we all seek to break free from the fetters of social conditioning, so freedom for us means, first of all, freedom to think and act independently as opposed to constant submission to society and the opinions of other people. Freedom means the freedom to be a real woman, not to imitate a mother, grandmother or great-grandmother.
Naturally, the freedom to live according to one’s own standards implies one’s own, personal set of values. The correctness of these values we have chosen is tested by life. As for a woman, for this she should be quite open and defenseless - both in relations with a man and in relations with the world as a whole. Otherwise, she will not be able to find out whether her beliefs and values are true or false. If they succeed, they are true. If everything she does ends in failure, she should reconsider her worldview.
This book is about true values, and after reading it, you will have to decide for yourself if they are right for you. In order to make the right decision, you have to judge clearly and objectively. Often, when evaluating an idea or belief is difficult, it’s enough to simply study similar moments in the life of another person to make things fall into place, isn’t it? We all know deep down where the truth is and where the lies are. The problem is that we don’t always want to admit it. Sometimes it is much easier for us to fool ourselves, sometimes it is very pleasant to portray ignorance and confusion. This way we can justify to ourselves and others many of our unflattering actions.
This brings us back to the idea of confrontation, since for full communication with a man, you must first have freedom. Ultimately, that means you have to be enough.
open to being defenseless. True freedom consists in living well and bravely on the basis of values that you believe are right. In this case, you do not need to defend anything, you do not need to justify yourself and obey. You are independent and no one can force you to do anything against your will. Dignity, calmness, confidence and openness are the attributes of true freedom. But it can be achieved only through the adoption of a position of defenselessness in relation, first, to oneself, and secondly, to others.
It is very useful to list in writing the cases in which you, in your opinion, gave way to your instinct of self-defense instead of facing yourself or other people. I assure you, thanks to this exercise, you can significantly revise your life values. You will begin to understand that the values that you consider your own are actually imposed on you from the outside, something that you have never thought about. Most people adopt the beliefs of their parents and teachers, and also acquire them in the process of social conditioning. Even worse, these values are adopted unconsciously and unconditionally, never questioned or tested. Finally, you will find a lot of so-called beliefs that you consider part of your worldview, but never put into practice. Why carry all this rubbish? Where are your own values? Maybe you never had them?
We are strange creatures, aren’t we? We are willing to take on the burden of other people’s beliefs, and then complain that life is an unbearable burden! We let other people control our lives, and then we’re surprised that we’re constantly bumping into a brick wall. We are afraid to face others and ourselves. We stubbornly defend other people’s values and, instead of changing them, look for excuses for the fact that every time we hit a brick wall, our wheels fall off!
Chapter Eight. Myth Three: women must be dependent
This is probably the cruellest myth of all, since it subjects millions of women of different nationalities and ages to terrible physical, emotional and mental oppression. Nevertheless, it rests on a truth whose implications are so extensive that describing them alone would require several books of this kind. In this book, we shall limit ourselves to a brief account. To simplify, the truth underlying this myth is that women should be cared for. Let us explore what that means.
A woman by nature is chaos, because being a tonal, that is, everything, she often thinks one thing, but feels something completely different. As a result, it is absolutely natural for a woman to engage in several at the same time, a perfect mess and logic in irrational. From an objective point of view, a woman’s life may seem a mess and chaos, but she is well versed in this mix of known and unknown, unfinished business and new projects, clear thoughts and vague images.
order
Cases
see
Any woman can talk to her friend on the phone at the same time, cook breakfast, see if Johnny brushed his teeth before going to school, remind his husband that his aunt is going to come to dinner with them, and that she used to drink gin with a tonic at exactly six thirty, and that he should not wear jeans, since his aunt does not tolerate them, and that he should pick Johnny up from football after work. In between, she can also take the dog apart, feed the parrot and the cat, call Johnny's school to find out if Johnny really didn't have homework the night before, and also think about the fact that on Friday night she and her husband should go to their friend's birthday, who asked her to bring with her that special water feather that is sold in that store above the library on Markson Street, and would have to go to the park.
Over the supermarket, where, by the way, you can buy new Johnny football pants, as there they are much cheaper than anywhere else, and, yes, of course, you can also drop by the library and hand over books! And so, during breakfast, all this stormy activity takes place - planning, thinking, makeup, drying hair, choosing clothes, taking into account the fact that it is cold outside, but it can get warmer while she is in the city, and then she will have nowhere to put her jacket!
the University of London
and
this
logic
order
Riots
Perhaps from the outside, all this looks like chaos, but for a woman, what a man tends to consider as highly irrational mental gymnastics! How the hell did she know the dog turned the parrot's face over in another room while she chatted with a friend on the phone, checked Johnny's teeth and made sure the eggs didn't burn? How does she manage to dry her hair and simultaneously feed the parrot and the cat, without experiencing any difficulties? How does she know about parking at the supermarket (he can never find a parking spot there)? How does she remember the water? About the prices? Gin and tonic at six-thirty? He could have sworn that on his last visit, Auntie was drinking whiskey and soda. But maybe they didn't have a gin then? Jeans? Auntie hates jeans? Oh, my God, how does she even know that? Auntie didn't talk about anything at all except bridge and the political machinations of the right-wingers she hated!
But since such an existence is quite natural for a woman, she can successfully fulfill her role only if the man takes care of her. Otherwise, this way of life will either drive her crazy or cause her to feel inferior. But what does it mean to take care of a woman? Taking care of a woman does not mean in any way suppressing her or imposing your will on her. On the contrary, it means fully accepting her into your life so that she feels valued, loved and significant. A man who is capable of doing this will always take into account a woman’s opinion on any issue or issue relating to their common interests. Recognizing and loving a woman, that is, fully taking her into his life, a man makes her an integral part of all his decisions and plans.
Accordingly, a woman does not need to worry about where they are going, whether they have enough money for the next payment for the house, whether insurance premiums are paid on time, etc., since she is aware of her husband’s strategy and plans. Finding such psychological freedom, she can safely devote herself to trifles - feed a parrot, call her son's school, organize dinner and remind her husband that Johnny should be taken from football.
As a result of such reasonable cooperation between a man and a woman, she gets freedom that can be used not only for immersion in everyday trifles, but also for mastering the unknown and analyzing her feelings. Knowing that she doesn’t have to worry about getting food and protecting the hearth, as these are the duties of a man, a woman focuses on how to help him find the clarity he aspires to. And she does it not because she has the gift of clairvoyance, but simply because she is used to doing several things at the same time and knows how to catch the relationship between things. It is thanks to this skill that she is able to do several things at once. However, this skill is based more on feelings than knowledge, so a real woman is rarely able to explain to a man why she feels this or that. She just throws her feelings at him, and he is already forced to think about how to translate them into the language of facts and what to do with these facts. To get a better understanding of this mechanism, let’s consider the following example.
Suppose Clint got an offer to invest in a small print business and decided to ask his wife, Claire, what she thought about it. At first, Claire does not know what to think about it, but feels that the offer is profitable - provided that Clint learns a little more about the practical details of the printed matter. Realizing that Claire is right about his ignorance of the details of the printing business, the next morning Clint goes to collect information. That same morning, Claire calls her friend and reports that her friend's husband has just started importing paper at low prices. Meanwhile, Claire hears a parrot screaming in another room and, feeling that his seed is turned upside down, rushes there and discovers that the parrot has a fight with the dog. Rescued from the trouble of the parrot, she returns to the phone, experiencing the unclear
The feeling that the parrot case, the information about the import of paper and the angry dog are somehow interconnected.
Later that morning, Claire goes shopping to prepare for dinner, but suddenly remembers that she needs to hand over books to the library before the end of the week. Thinking of books and the library, Claire decides to hand over books on the way to the supermarket and at the same time look for books on the printing business in the library that Clint may need.
Claire does not find anything in the library about the printing business, but one of the librarians tells her that the necessary information can be requested in the Chamber of Commerce and Industry. Armed with this information, she goes shopping, then goes home. Once at home, she calls Clint to tell him about the librarian's offer.
At this time, Clint is collecting information and finds out that the key point of the printing business is the ability to mine paper at a low price. When he shares this information with Claire on the phone, she excitedly tells him what her friend told her this morning, as well as talking about the advice of a librarian. But after this conversation, Claire has some strange premonition.
Later that day, while talking to Clint's aunt, Claire tells her about the incident with the parrot and the dog, but the aunt in her usual manner dismisses this information with one stroke of her hand, sarcastically noticing that dogs are usually as stupid as their owners, especially when, after throwing someone off the perch, they begin to show unnecessary generosity, refusing to really fight for their rights.
And again, Claire has a strange feeling that all this is somehow interconnected and means something.
It is not until evening, when Clint joins them and talks about how he spent the day, including a trip to the Chamber of Commerce, that Claire begins to catch the semantic thread behind which she chased in vain throughout the day. When he told me that in the Chamber of Commerce and Industry he was able to find out only
their
Be
Ready
Must
Defending
The fact that in the printing business reigns fierce competition, Claire suddenly realizes that this is implicitly told her the morning fight of the parrot with the dog. Now it is clear to her that if Clint wants to succeed in the printing business, he is right, as his aunt has already noticed. Later in the evening, when his aunt goes home, Claire shares her thoughts with Clint, and Clint, thinking about Claire's words, realizes that in order to succeed in the print business, he needs to throw away his natural softness and not be afraid to throw others off the perch. He concludes that the only way to succeed in a new business for him is to use new contacts — both his own and Claire’s — in the print business in order to squeeze out competitors, even if it would force the latter to leave this business altogether. Thus, in carrying out his daily functions, Clint found the clarity he sought, and Claire helped him in this, at the same time not neglecting any of his duties and not encroaching on the "hunting" functions of a man. From this example, it is clear that a woman can yield and in fact gives leadership to a man. When Clint announced his intention, Claire did not contradict or argue, but began to act in the direction that her husband indicated to her. She gave him her full support in fulfilling his mission.
Instead of unwittingly and thoughtlessly agreeing with Clint's intention to engage in print business, Claire entered into reasonable cooperation with him, using her feelings and intuition. With her actions and information, she balanced the actions and information of her husband. Without this, Clint could have been recklessly involved in the printing business without the necessary information. Moreover, by performing her role in her own inimitable feminine manner, Claire also complemented her husband's efforts as best she could. Finally, not imposing her will on her husband, but simply giving him information that he lacked for an objective vision of the situation, Claire did not allow herself to accept the role of mother. Instead, she chose the role of a woman and ceded leadership to Clint, giving him the opportunity to make decisions. By doing so, he also supports
He
Solve
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Go to
Printable
in the manifestation of force necessary in the competition, if the business. We can also look at it a little differently, saying that Claire is faced with a dilemma. The first opportunity is to argue and fight with a man. In this case, he will lose respect for her, since no man will respect a second-rate man. The second possibility is to recognize a man’s leadership, follow it, and support it, not out of coercion, but out of faith in his purpose, vision, and ability. Such a view makes it possible to understand that taking care of a woman means also gaining and maintaining her trust, which is possible only if a man has strength and clarity of judgment, self-confidence and creativity. No woman will trust a weak and unreliable man, especially if he tries to put his weakness on her physically, emotionally or mentally. This is not too different from how the government treats its citizens.
If the government has the strength and clarity of judgment, self-confidence and creativity, the people enjoy prosperity and prosperity, everyone is happy, because they feel safe. But if the government is weak and unreliable, the people begin to suffer and worry, crime, anarchy and violence destroy peace and prosperity. Similarly, a woman should feel cared for and recognized, that is, feel safe knowing what a man believes and what he wants. Only then can she determine her own role and thus support the man of purpose, which is also in their common interest.
Fulfillment of them
the University of London
The example of the government and the people is an obvious analogy to the example of Claire and Clint. Just as the Government provides its citizens with the security they need to carry out their daily functions and fulfil their destiny, so too does the man care for the woman, enabling her to fulfil her destiny. The purpose of government must coincide with the purpose of the people, otherwise we have anarchy. How people choose a government that they can believe in, so does a woman choose
He is a man who can believe in his destiny and makes every effort to support him in the realization of this destiny and, as a result, to succeed in his own search for satisfaction and happiness.
Having elected a government, it makes no sense to fight it, except that it shows signs of corruption and fraud. One must lead, the other must support, that is the universal law. As my friend once said, "Why have a dog if you want to get laid?" Similarly, it makes no sense to elect a government if you do not want to obey it.
A well-functioning government must take care of those who elected it. To do this, it must fulfill its purpose, play its role. If he succeeds, the people must support him for the sole reason that government and the people are two sides of the same coin, just as man and woman are two poles of awareness. A government without a country is just a meaningless group of people, and a man without a woman is an ordinary, mediocre, little capable person. A country without a government is chaos and disorder, a woman without a man's leadership also sooner or later comes to complete chaos in her life.
Government and the people should be one, as men and women, and the relationship between them should be of a reasonable co-operation. Nevertheless, I must note that one should not take the above statements too literally because man and woman are states of awareness, and all awareness is about what one should never forget. Therefore, a bachelor is not necessarily a useless and mediocre person. He can have his own business and thus play the role of a man in relation to all his subordinates, regardless of their gender. If he is a good man and treats his subordinates well, his business will flourish. If he does not know how to interact properly with subordinates, they will have no leader, no direction, no other goal than to grow bigger while there is an opportunity. Such a business should and will definitely decline, from which the employees themselves will suffer.
My Own
Case
to have
own
However, all of the above does not quite apply to a woman for the reason that in order to be a real woman, she must support a man, her double. Therefore, although a woman can be prime minister, such a role deprives her of the opportunity to realize her full potential. Being a leader or prime minister means taking on a masculine role in relation to business or country, which in general fixes a woman in the role of a mother. There is no other way out, unless this woman meets a man who will take care of her and guide her. In most cases, a woman leader or prime minister is just a public figure, but in fact she is led by her man.
Cases happen exactly
even
or
Although feminists will be outraged by these words, and they will accuse me of male chauvinism, do not forget: you cannot accuse me or other men of the fact that there are objective laws of nature, not invented by us. It is true that men, because of their ignorance and weakness, violated these laws by oppressing women and depriving them of various rights, but this did not affect the laws themselves. Neither man nor woman can change the natural order of being. We may violate the laws of nature, but as with any other laws, there must be punishment. I am not attacking women’s rights, but rather feminists, encouraging women to limit themselves to the role of mother and neglect their femininity. Nothing and no one can prevent a woman from doing what she thinks is necessary. She can become a director of her company. She could be the prime minister of her country. She can become a priest and leader of her congregation. She can enter the military service and become a great military leader. There is nothing a woman can do better than a man. But there is one thing that neither women nor men can avoid. their own. It is impossible to simultaneously keep some amount of money intact and spend it. It is impossible to keep the cake intact and eat it at the same time. You cannot be a man and a woman at the same time. Either you save money or you spend it. You or
Responsibility
Solutions
the National Park
and
You either show your masculinity or you lose it. You either show your femininity by becoming a real woman, or you lose that right.
A man and a woman can switch roles, but this does not solve the problem for the simple and obvious reason that it will not bring them neither joy nor satisfaction. You may be the most powerful and wealthy woman in the world, but any man in your life, no matter how powerful, will play the role of a woman to you, unless you give him the leadership, follow his destiny and support him. Even if you manage to perfectly change the sex, you will still always be only a second-class man! Neither you nor I, nor any other woman, can change that. We have no control over the laws of nature. We just do it through reasonable cooperation.
It is possible to solve the riddle of a woman only if she is included in the known. This means that she must become part of a man’s life and share his purpose, which is to expand the boundaries of the known, that is, to solve the riddle of a woman, the riddle of the tonal. Why not? It’s because we can’t use what we don’t understand or know, regardless of whether we’re male or female. And since a man is a carrier of sperm, it is he who must impregnate a woman in order for her to give birth to him for his purpose. This will allow them to determine the boundaries of the unknown and solve the mystery of the tonal, as a result of which a woman will be included in the life of a man. Otherwise, they are waiting for stagnation and infertility, the battle of the sexes or, worse, the exchange of roles.
And finally, before we leave this myth, think about why this book was written by a man, not a woman. If you’ve been interested in this all along, now you’ve probably got an answer to your question. I have no doubt that there are many women who could have written this book better than me. But here's the question: "Can a woman lead another woman?" As a real woman, you will accept my leadership, because deep down you know that I am saying everything right. But this decision is yours,
as well as responsibility. I am responsible for the consequences of your decision only if you decide to accept my leadership, and in no other way.
Chapter nine. Myth four: women do not think
Not being rational does not mean not using your intelligence. It means using it correctly, that is, remembering that your life, your destiny and your destiny are closely related to the life, destiny and destiny of a man. Therefore, in order to be a real woman, you need to learn to coordinate its purpose and destiny.
their thoughts and actions
with a man,
their
person
People live
Rationality,
Let us dwell on concepts
Let’s take a closer look at destiny and purpose. Fate is not what you think. Fate is our mission in this incarnation. But since very few are clearly aware of their purpose in this life, feelings. The majority of purpose is the ability to listen to your feelings and follow them. In this sense, it is very close to what is called the sixth sense, or intuition. When it is developed, that is, it is not suppressed to achieve phenomenal success. By success, I mean not only financial success, but also success in personal life, happiness, satisfaction and a sense of fullness of life. So fate is a mission that we have to fulfill in this lifetime, and destiny, or more accurately, a sense of purpose, is what guides us in the fulfillment of destiny. Returning to our main question - in order to become a real woman, you need to learn how to coordinate your thoughts and feelings with the purpose and destiny of a man - we see what it means to govern a man quite honestly. Helping a man in this way, you involve him in the process of fulfilling his own destiny and fulfilling his own destiny, which, do not forget, is his fate. To believe in your purpose means that it is your purpose.
Capable
It reflects your destiny. It is impossible to believe in a purpose that is contrary to your destiny, although some people try to force themselves to act in such an unnatural way.
Now that we’ve clarified that point, we’ve come to the million-dollar question, “How do we get there?” The best way to do this, as we saw in Claire’s example in the previous chapter, is to follow your feminine intuition, or sixth sense. This means that you must learn to listen to the voice of your heart. All of us have been taught, or at least encouraged, to think and act rationally, but no one has ever been taught to listen to their heart. Listening to the voice of the heart means trusting your sixth sense and being guided by it more than by a rational mind. A rational mind is just a personal built-in computer that, like any other computer, is as good as the information stored in it.
The information stored in the rational mind is our worldview, which mainly consists of prejudices and established beliefs that determine our attitude to literally everything in this life, including the idea of a real woman. Moreover, since people, due to the peculiarities of social conditioning, usually give preference to the mind over the heart, they tend to rationalize and justify their actions. Instead of listening to the voice of their heart, they maintain an endless and meaningless inner dialogue in their mind.
Paradoxically, listening to your heart means thinking for real. The great minds of this world do not like to admit it, but the secret of their genius lies in the ability to follow their feelings. Everything great, whether it be an invention, a scientific discovery, a piece of music or a painting, is based primarily on feeling. It is only after a mental vision has arisen from the feeling of an inventor, scientist, composer or artist that the stage of materialization of this vision begins, at which the rational mind comes into play.
When you decide to learn to listen to your heart, it is very important to consider your life as a whole, possessing and
meaning and purpose. Otherwise, your life will always seem to you a chaotic mixture of successes and failures, in which it is impossible to grasp the meaning, that is, to determine your purpose, not to mention the direction of fate. Therefore, you need to carefully analyze your whole life. You must be open enough and defenseless enough to define logical connections in your life. This will help you not only to understand what is happening, but also to determine your purpose. In addition to these connections, the course of your life also determines the conditions of the world around us. You need to be able to determine these connections and conditions so as not to lose sight of your destiny.
Consider a simple example that will help you understand what it means to listen to your heart. Suppose you have a serious problem in your marriage. You can either start an endless internal discussion about what is right and wrong, what you should do and what you would like to do, all your fears, doubts and worries, or just open up and follow the instructions coming from the world around you. By choosing the second option, you will begin to study other marriages, which will give objectivity to your judgments and eventually allow you to determine the true cause of the problem. That’s what I mean when I talk about instructions from the outside.
When you open up to these instructions and distance yourself from the internal dialogue, any problem becomes clear and solvable. At first glance, this is very simple, but in real life it turns into a difficult task, since most people hammer their minds with various prejudices and misconceptions instead of fully opening up and showing sincerity to themselves.
Naturally, these prejudices and established ideas are positive and negative. But prejudice is prejudice, and there is nothing good about it anyway. So, if you do not show openness and vulnerability in the analysis of your marriage, everything can end up with you justifying either your behavior, or even the behavior of your husband. Either way,
By taking a defensive stance, you begin to show rationalism to justify your established views on marriage, which in no way contributes to solving the problem. So you may feel like you’re doing the right thing and trying to save a marriage, but unless you’re open and defenseless, your marriage will fall apart sooner or later.
On the other hand, the situation can be such that you consider everything exclusively from a negative point of view. So, for example, if your husband decides to reconsider his attitude towards you and gives you a huge bouquet of roses, you experience nothing but suspicion. "Why did he suddenly decide to spend so much?" Taking such a position, you again begin to rationalize instead of being open and defenseless, listening to your feelings and instructions from outside.
There are two important things you should never forget. The first is that deep down we all know what is good and what is bad, we only need to be able to listen to ourselves, the second is that we all have enough instructions from the outside to overcome any problem, we only need to show sufficient openness and sincerity, that is, true vulnerability, in order to take advantage of these instructions. If we always keep these two points in mind, every need for rationalization will disappear and we will begin to think clearly and act flawlessly.
Chapter Ten. Myth Five: women do not smoke or drink
The true meaning of this myth is rather obscure and consists in the fact that there is a man who, by his example, should show that life is not a sin at all, but an invaluable gift, since it is our only opportunity for learning. To understand this, we need to find out in detail what people understand by sin. The idea of sin is a perfect example of the mental garbage that we either create ourselves or borrow from others. We are all conditioned to think that in order to be good people, we must
To deny oneself much, and to enjoy the joy and wealth of life, is in most cases a sin. Even unbelieving people who may not use words like “sin” fall victim to the “universal” division into good and evil. As a result, everyone climbs out of the skin to prove their “virtue” to others.
But in today’s crazy world, it doesn’t matter. These days, to meet the norm, you need to change values that were considered positive to beliefs of dubious properties.
Until recently
Totally
So, today a teenager should smoke, drink alcohol and copulate, like sexual maniacs, in order for peers to consider him normal! In the past, such behavior would have been regarded as sinful and accordingly condemned, and today it is considered natural. So, what are we talking about? Obviously, this cannot be a sin, for if the concept of sin depends on time, then why all this talk about the need to conform? Conform to what? Or is it fashion that sets the course of our lives and values?
I don't know about you, but I set my own standards and defined my own life values. Let someone think that drinking alcohol is “cool” and poisoning your brain with drugs is “fashionable”, but I’m not going to meet these standards of self-destruction. For me, life is an invaluable opportunity to show your potential and develop your awareness. While others want to turn into social scum and drug addicts, I want to reach the highest peak! So, from my point of view, if someone wants to fall out of society, becoming a drug addict, this is great, as it reduces the number of my potential rivals! Does that sound awful and selfish? All right! That's what I mean. Why would I or anyone else adopt the twisted ideas and beliefs of different fools?
If there is a sin, it is a sin of social conditioning. There is no greater evil than to force your way of thinking. This is what most people do when they intimidate an individual with ostracism. I
I'm sure you understand what this is about. "If you don't sleep with me, I'll leave you." "If you don't take it, we won't take you in." "If you don't lie like us and steal like us, we'll burn your house down." This is how people are manipulated on the basis of fear.
All this diabolical conditioning rests on the fact that life is one and unique. It’s hard to deny, none of us is an island in a vacuum. But for some reason, people believe that being ostracized means losing oneness with the whole, which we call the process of life. It is this belief that causes most people to have a huge irrational fear of ostracism. But this fear — and especially its manifestations in modern society — is nothing more than an illusion.
In fact, we never run the risk of being ostracized in the true sense of the word. We may be kicked out of the house, we may be turned away by friends, we may be excommunicated or otherwise separated from society or a group of people, but no one and nothing can separate us from life, for nothing of the above has anything to do with life. Life is what we make it. So, even if your friends turn away from you, you do not lose the opportunity to communicate with them, although this is another communication. Life is what you decide to do with this communication. This does not mean that communication is life itself. Life is what you make of it, choosing how you perceive this communication. You may think that nothing has changed. You may think you have been ostracized. You can consider yourself a victim, you can feel resentment, loneliness, joy, happiness, peace, etc. - all this is of your choice. The key here is your choice, and that means that only you can decide what your life will be like.
The only person who can take you out of life is yourself. Only you can decide to stop “living” and become gloomy and unhappy when your friends, family or church turn away from you. But did it ever occur to you that they would only do you a favor? Have you ever wondered why people might want to
To expel you from your circle is that you are different from them and therefore have other values. But only you can decide how to treat yourself and your values. By standing up to you, these people are doing you a favor, pushing you to develop this attitude. If you don’t like yourself and you think you have rotten values, listen to these people and remake yourself, but if you like yourself and think your values are right, send these people far away, because you no longer need their society.
There's no point in being a jerk to fit in with a bunch of jerks! In any case, these people, forcing you to self-esteem, have done you a great service, so you should not be upset at all. Be happy, because you won anyway!
The ability to stand on our own feet and make our own decisions based on our own values gives us a sense of immense freedom — freedom that also allows us to openly and fully enjoy the richness of life. By the richness of life I mean not only the good, but the combination of good and bad. If night did not exist, we would never know the true nature of light, and if unhappiness did not exist, we would never know the true depth of happiness. To truly understand life, you need to feel all its aspects on the physical plane. This doesn’t mean you have to be a victim of murder or a drug addict; there simply shouldn’t be any gaps in your knowledge. So, if you have never faced death or dealt with drugs, your knowledge in these areas is limited.
I do not want you to use the above as an excuse for various vices. If you already know that drugs are not for you, you don’t have to try them; if you know that you don’t want to be a prostitute, you shouldn’t behave like this! My idea is that only we can decide whether to explore an unknown area, and there is nothing that could prevent us from doing so. Let's look at a few examples.
A huge number of heterosexual men and women at some stage of their lives had a homosexual relationship in search of the meaning of sexuality. But even those who enjoyed the experience did not become homosexuals or lesbians. On the contrary, these men and women have established themselves in their heterosexual orientation. Realize that these people would never have gone to such experiments if they had a firm belief in the correctness of their sexual orientation. Now they have no doubt about their heterosexuality. Further, there are many people who have ever experimented with drugs in their lives and even enjoyed it. But in the end, they came to the conclusion that drugs and “high” is not for them. They tried it, but they didn’t become drug addicts.
There are also many people who have quit smoking or drinking forever. There are many people who were once seriously ill, but today are healthy and happy. What I want to say is that in any disorder — physical, emotional or mental — we invariably show signs of tension. In any of these three cases, the cause of the disorder and subsequent stress is a lack of a certain area of our lives. Sometimes this tension becomes so strong that it spreads to our entire being. When it comes to physical stress, we get sick physically if we can’t get rid of it. The same is true for emotional and mental stress. As a result, people often begin to seek salvation in cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs in the same way as in physical illness they would seek salvation in medicines.
Knowledge
Stress is not yet a disease, but if its cause is not eliminated, the disease is inevitable. But, as we have already noticed, any tension is the result of a disorder, and any disorder is the result of ignorance. Since true knowledge can only be gained through experience, disorders of this nature can only be eliminated through intelligent accumulation of experience in the area of our lives where we lack knowledge. I used the word "reasonable", because the accumulation of experience should not be approached.
Kill
May
Painkiller
Less careful than taking medication. Just like a patient’s overdose, negligence in drinking can lead to alcoholism. Many men and women have established themselves in their heterosexual orientation by allowing themselves a homosexual experience, but many other men and women, contrary to their nature, have remained homosexual because, instead of showing common sense, they have allowed the experience to captivate themselves. Do not forget that in this case it is about restoring balance, and not about the normal process of accumulation of knowledge. Under normal conditions, knowledge is never too much, but when you restore balance, it is quite possible to overdose.
So, having figured out the importance and role of knowledge in our lives, you now understand better why, at the beginning of this chapter, I said that a man should show by his example that life is not a sin. Why a man? Why sin? These two questions are not easy to answer with a few phrases, so we will dwell on them in more detail. As you have already understood, in order to reach our full potential on the physical plane, we must have the most complete knowledge of life, since gaps in this knowledge not only hinder our development, but also cause various disorders. Naturally, this prevents the disclosure of personal potential. It follows that we must study life in all its diversity and richness, without being bogged down in its negative aspects. In other words, we must act boldly, but at the same time show some detachment.
To be detached is to realize that, although we have every right to enjoy ourselves on the physical plane, excessive materialism will lead to nothing. It is not the physical plane itself that matters, but the knowledge we accumulate during our existence on it. Many people ignore this distinction. To be aware of it is to live in strict discipline, that is, self-discipline.
To be self-disciplined does not mean to deny yourself everything, although many people understand it this way. Restriction of self is only a form of self-punishment, and self-punishment is not a form of punishment.
It does not contribute to the knowledge we need to reach our full potential. Self-discipline is self-discipline, but here we have to act very carefully, because if we do not know our true self, we can begin to discipline ourselves according to social conditioning or, worse, according to our prejudices and delusions.
From all that we have already learned, studying these myths, it is easy to understand that the true meaning of self-discipline lies in readiness for any life experience, sincerity and openness. With this approach, we are easily aware of how stupid and dangerous it is to indulge ourselves: it deprives us of self-respect. So, for example, if you eat more than you need to satisfy hunger, you will not only become a glutton, but also, most likely, gain excess weight. But gluttons and fat people do not consider their shortcomings to be something terrible, since they do not respect themselves enough. Therefore, the key point of self-discipline is self-esteem, since it is not the overeating itself that is bad, but the indulgence in this weakness.
Similarly, it is not life itself that is bad, nor what happens to us on the physical plane. Bad or good our lives make only our attitude towards it, healthy or disorderly it makes, respectively, our detachment and our weakness. In this way, we can all enjoy life and be happy, provided we maintain a certain detachment necessary to maintain self-discipline and self-esteem. Only by enjoying life to the fullest will we be able to reach our full potential and thus find our destiny.
However, as we all know through social conditioning, many people, especially men, often take this principle literally and as a result lead a completely disordered life in which there is no trace of self-discipline and self-esteem. But if a man is to set an example, what kind of example is that? What self-respecting woman can be an example of a male glutton, an alcoholic, a drug addict or a sexual maniac? Neither is it likely
follow
A real woman will take an example from a man who is not sure who he is - Arthur or March.
Them
Case
Unfortunately, there are many women who neglect both self-discipline and self-esteem, following men who are not real men, but spoiled little boys who indulge themselves in anything their mothers would never approve of. Therefore, the meaning of this ancient myth is that women should not imitate men, otherwise they become the victim of tension characteristic only of men. This tension consists in the struggle that a man leads with himself, trying to turn from a spoiled little boy, rising against the will of his mother, into a real man. By trying to follow a little boy, a woman becomes the same, if not weaker, little boy and eventually loses respect for herself. Back to the idea of sin. If there is a sin, it is against yourself. To abandon the search for knowledge, to abandon self-discipline, to lose self-respect and to waste one’s life is the only possible sin.
Sin is not our thoughts and actions, but what we do with those thoughts and actions. If we use them for personal development and to find our destiny, how can we consider them bad or sinful? But if they cause us to lose respect for ourselves, we destroy not only ourselves, but also the great gift of life. Destruction is the opposite of life and disrespect for it.
A real man, that is, a man who has ceased to be a little boy rebelling against his mother's will, will never direct another person along the path of self-destruction, loss of self-discipline, and self-respect. Since he has enough self-discipline and self-respect, he will also never show the way leading to denial. Instead, he will always show others how to enjoy the fullness of life. He does this by participating in all aspects of life, but never losing his sense of detachment and indulging himself in anything. It shows us that in order to reach our full potential, we must have no gaps in the knowledge of life and that a lost balance can be achieved.
Restoring without “getting sick”. But looking at the modern world, we see a lot of “unhealthy” people living in a society that is becoming increasingly unhealthy by the day. Why not? Yes, because men are completely devoted to their opposition to mothers, and women, trying to follow these little boys, imitate them more and more. As in Annie's favorite phrase, "All You Can Do, I Can Do Better!" Today, men no longer brag about how much they can drink, as there are many women who are able to overdrink most of them. They do not boast of their sexual exploits, because it is known that while a man needs a break after sexual intercourse, a woman can have sex for a long time and without interruptions, as evidenced by the frequent "show" performances of women having sex in turn with a large number of partners.
Chapter eleven. Myth six: women are gentle
The true meaning of this myth is easier to understand after we come to the conclusion that women should care - and do show it - women do it, of course. In this connection, it should be noted that the sole purpose of life on the physical plane is the materialization of all our potential within this physical life. To do this, we must, therefore, cultivate the male purpose, the purpose of the spirit of a man - no matter what sex we ourselves belong to.
Oh,
Since the man symbolizes the known and the woman - speaking about the purpose of the man, we are unknown, we mean if women. the purpose of the man - to involve the unknown in the known, the purpose of the woman - to be involved in the world of men. That’s what it means when you say that a woman complements a man.
destination
After all,
However, the only way to support the purpose of a man, the sexual way,
Independently
Affordable
each,
from
accessories, to dream. But since we are all well aware of the futility of unfulfilled desires, we must learn to dream in order to achieve a certain goal. All true knowledge can only come through direct experience. So, speaking of dreaming, we do not mean the creation of air castles, but dreams in action. But even in acting, we should not forget that the leading action not only does not bring any dividends, but also turns out to be completely meaningless.
Every woman knows this well. This inner knowledge comes to her through the fact that, deep down in her being, a woman feels that the dividends she wants to receive can come from a man who has declared the right to power. Therefore, all the actions of a woman are aimed at supporting the desire of a man to declare his right to strength. And these actions encapsulate her dreams - after all, every woman dreams of being picked up by a knight in shining armor, garnering on a snow-white horse. However, this secret dream is the deepest secret of every woman.
People may try to challenge this idea, but there is nothing on Earth stronger than a belief. The Wright brothers took to the skies on airplanes because they believed it was possible.
People have done all kinds of miracles, believing that a miracle is possible. And every man, having a woman next to him, looking at him as a knight in shining armor, is trying to grow to this image, unless, of course, he is a complete nothingness who wants to use this idea of his own person only to rape her!
That is why, when a real woman dreams, she projects the image of the ideal English. gentlr is soft, kind, gentle, affectionate, quiet, calm, light, weak, obedient, humble, tame, tame, hand-held, noble, generous, courteous, etc. (Great Anglo-Russian Dictionary, vol. 1). Orville Write and Wilbur Write are the pioneers of American aviation, who designed the airplane and made the first successful flight. - Note. perv. men to reality and, having done so, begins to quietly, and therefore very effectively manipulate it, directing it to the materialization of this image. If she is a real woman, she
will not seek to become in his practice of dreams "mommy" for a man, and will arrange their dreams in accordance with the purpose of the man. Instead of imposing her will on him, controlling his fate at her own discretion, a woman projects into reality her dream of a brilliant knight, true to her goal, her destiny, her feat, and realizes that she is destined to break away from the earth, being in the hands of this knight. But here it is necessary to show wisdom and understanding that she should take care of a man, and not babysit him, since only his strength, and not weakness, should be nurtured. Otherwise, he will never be able to claim power.
The true purpose of the mind is to determine what are the true values in life. This is why a real woman uses her mind to determine what a man’s purpose is and how she can help him fulfill that purpose. Now we are talking about a real woman who wants to have a real man next to her. Those who believe that a man is nothing more than a male doll, will not support the true purpose of a man, but will want to babysit with their navels to impose their own idea of their destiny on them.
All this leads us to the next important thought - if a woman wants to support a man and his purpose, she must step back. To step into the background does not imply giving up one’s own individuality or independence, but it means that a woman, wishing to support this purpose of a man, purpose as her own. Otherwise, her own career will be more important to her than her husband’s, and then more important than her husband himself. Such a woman will pursue her own goal, and not support the purpose of her husband. We often encounter a situation where a woman who once supported her husband becomes so busy with her children that she not only forgets about his destiny, but also babysits with him, trying to explain to him how a father should behave!
relate to
Must
C
To be able to step back for the sake of your man is one of the most important tasks of every woman. And although it may seem that at the same time a woman puts herself below her partner, in fact the opposite happens. Raising his purpose and trying to look at things through his eyes, the woman makes it clear to the man that she believes in him and fully trusts him. By demonstrating her faith in this way, a woman begins to manipulate a man: firstly, by giving him the opportunity to assert his right to power; secondly, by manifesting himself primarily as a woman, and not as a mother.
Only because a woman refuses to babysit a man and recedes into the background, the latter can claim its right to strength. Having declared the right to force, a man automatically raises a woman to her level - begins to treat her as an equal, having stopped rebelling against her "mother" guardianship. But what is even more important: as soon as a man begins to look at a woman as a partner, and not as his mother, he does everything possible not to destroy the image, the idea of him, which a woman created in her imagination. Of course, we may regard this as a desire to find approval, but in fact it is not a search for approval, but reasonable cooperation in its purest form.
To better understand this, say to yourself, “If you want to recognize me as a man, I will do everything in my power to justify your trust. But if you want to be my mom, I'm gonna rebel and I'm gonna contradict you every step of the way. Only in this way will I be able to prove to you that I am not weak and do not need your eternal notations!”
But we will not contradict ourselves if we remember that the mother also belongs to the feminine principle and therefore can not be bad. And the mother has a crucial role to play. The art of a real woman is that she is able to decide when she should be a mother and when she should be just a woman. Again, a woman must use her mind to solve this problem correctly. If a man has forgotten that he should serve as an example, and behaved like an “orphan”, having fallen into a bar with his friends, he certainly needs a “mommy” who will not let him loose. More
No man has lost his masculinity because he "got a whip" from his wife, or because he was not opened the door of his own house after he behaved like a spoiled child. On the contrary, the weighty bluff brought to mind not one man, and the order to "pack your bags and get away" often led men to such a rage that they immediately grew up and rushed to prove to everyone that they were real men!
In this regard, it is worth noting that a real woman never gets upset, having received an angry response from her man. A man’s angry reaction is a completely natural and inevitable consequence of her maternal care. And what kind of man would like it if they let him understand that they consider him a weakling? And yet, sometimes it is necessary to do this so that, seeing himself in this light, the man changed his behavior. But a woman should always remember that, just as she never resents her own child, who said that he “hates” her, she should not react painfully to an angry man acting like a child. Of course, like any child, a man will start to freak out or blow, but sooner or later he will admit that “mommy” was right and that he behaved like a jerk!
But it is very important that a woman treats a man as an adult. Even if for some reason you have to babysit a man, you should not forget that he is an adult. When a man is not seen as an adult, his worst qualities are manifested in him - such a man can become very aggressive and prone to physical violence. Any self-respecting man is able to bear a slap with dignity, if he knows that this slap is deserved. But if it is pounded on the face as small (both literally and figuratively), it can explode! A woman’s support of a man in his destiny is an integral part of her care for him. He is fully involved in his life. The lack of this “engagement” can have very serious consequences. How often women are perplexed by the fact that their husbands, returning from work and smacking them in the cheek, immediately bury their nose in the newspaper or continuously watch TV until the night. These women did not understand that
There can be nothing worse for a man than not being able to share. Like a hunter who enjoys sharing his prey with his household, like he himself shares life-giving sperm, a man likes to share his victories and defeats, hopes and fears, joys and sorrows. To give to a man is to live. But forced to sit passively in one place and receive, the man begins to feel out of place, which ultimately leads him to realize himself as a loser.
To understand where this leads, let us consider a typical example. Gary has had a hectic day at work: although he finally managed to conclude a profitable deal, the negotiations were extremely difficult and threatened to collapse repeatedly. Tired but pleased, Gary looked forward to getting home, opening a bottle of wine and telling his wife over a glass about everything that had happened that day. At home, however, he finds his wife, Samantha, talking to a friend in the kitchen. Giving Gary a quick kiss in passing, Samantha immediately tells him that her friend Joan got engaged only yesterday and that she wants Joan to stay for dinner and tell them all about her marriage plans!
Not wanting to upset his wife, Gary agrees, although deep down he feels dissatisfied with such a turn of events. Before changing for dinner, Gary goes to take a shower and begins to reproach himself for pettiness and selfishness, and at the same time gives his word to behave at the table so that it brings joy to Samantha. The evening goes smoothly, but when Gary tries to talk about his luck today, Samantha interrupts him, saying, "Please, darling, not now. But later, when they are finally alone with his wife, Gary is unable to share his joy with Samantha - every time he talks about work, Samantha interrupts him, talking about the upcoming wedding of a friend, about what kind of dress she will have to go to the celebration. That night, when Samantha curls up next to him, yawns and falls asleep, Gary turns from side to side for a long time. Finally he is alone: and alone he goes through everything in his head
The crown and who will be invited to
this
the City
It’s time to move further and further away from Samantha. Angry and ashamed of his anger, feeling sorry for himself and annoyed at his weakness, unhappy and upset Gary is finally forgotten by sleep. The next morning, Samantha could feel the alienation that had arisen in their relationship with Gary, but she is too busy, meaning. going to bed in front of the mirror, she again starts talking about the upcoming wedding of Joan. And she is genuinely surprised when Gary leaves the apartment without saying goodbye and slamming the door. She mumbles to herself, “I can never understand a man,” without stopping to powder her nose and pondering what dress she should appear at Joan’s wedding and what costume to wear on this occasion, Gary.
give
work,
to
This
When Gary calls Samantha from work to warn her that he will stay with his colleagues to drink a bottle or two, she is very happy about this and offers her husband not to rush home - then she will have enough time to communicate with Joan, and they will be able to discuss the upcoming event in all details Gary by this time begins to feel that the offense loses its sharpness, leaving only an unpleasant residue in the soul. When he notices that a bright-eyed girl who joined his firm a month ago is still single, and is now ready to join their company, the resentment is completely forgotten, and he begins to dream. A little later, upon discovering that the girl is smiling sweetly at him, Gary tells her all about his recent victory ... and finds in her an attentive and grateful listener. Gary returns home late in a high mood, and Samantha again sees the old Gary - the soul, the charm of Gary. Only one thing she can not understand: why Gary is not in a hurry to make love to her when they go to bed.
It seems to me that this example is quite eloquent and transparent, and therefore it is hardly worth discussing what such a relationship will eventually lead to Gary and Samantha. If Gary is unable to stomp his foot and claim his male rights, Samantha will continue to babysit him until Gary refuses to bear it. Samantha, in turn, should try to look at herself from the outside, stop babysitting her husband,
Step back and hand over the reins to Gary. Ideally, both partners should be old enough, honest with themselves, to correctly assess the situation, discuss it and find a way out of it while there is still time. Remember, a woman must decide to become a part of a man’s life: he can’t force her to do it. Otherwise, it would be an attack on the freedom and individuality of a woman. A man can ask a woman to follow him, and to agree with this proposal or reject it is a woman’s business.
seed,
In the same way, a man is able to provide a woman with life-giving sperm, but only a woman, agreeing to accept it, is able to continue the life of the seed. If she does not want to do this, then she is free to immediately “abort”, regardless of whether she received a physical charge or mental stimulation from him. If she constantly aborts his initiative, continuing to babysit him instead of supporting a man in his destiny, the man will soon begin to be offended. Being offended, he will begin to avoid communication with his wife. He may start blocking it with a newspaper, run away from it to the TV, or he may start looking for adventures on the side.
emotional
Chapter Twelve. Myth Seven: a woman should not work
To get to the very origins of this myth, it is necessary to understand that a woman by herself cannot be a real woman. While this may seem like a biased view, let’s face it, we are given the choice of either working with men or competing with them. If a woman enters into competition with a man, then she can show only the maternal principle and becomes no more than a second-class man.
In many ways, this myth is only a new facet of the previous myth. However, there is a different subtext: woman
not only should support the man in his purpose, but also should not compete with him. Each of them has its own role, and each of these roles is equally important. Therefore, a man should act as a hunter and miner, while a woman should give birth and raise not only children, but also any fruits of their joint labor.
But that doesn’t mean a woman should give up her career. No, she doesn't have to stand in the kitchen all day and be pregnant forever. This simply means that her activities should not interfere with the appointment of a man. We have already come to the point that if a woman wants to remain a real woman, she needs to learn to step back and give the reins of power to a man, otherwise she will soon become almost indistinguishable from the representatives of the stronger sex.
By usurping the power that is rightfully held by a man, a woman becomes only a second-rate man, even if she takes office as Prime Minister. The fact is that the main gift of a woman is the ability to cultivate, since, cultivating the purpose of a man, she secretly develops her own idea of purpose.
Thanks to the support of a man in his destiny, a woman feels like a real woman. This feeling inspires both her and the man - after all, the man always reacts to the femininity of his partner by showing his own masculinity. Becoming more courageous, a man feels self-confidence, which in turn inspires a woman - so the cycle of silent support continues. Thus, instead of quarrels and mutual accusations, when partners humiliate and literally mutilate each other, a man and a cooperation. woman Here it is important to note that the first step is always made by a woman. This means that a woman must step back to support a man before she feels like a real woman, and a man feels like a real man. Everything can, of course, happen differently... as in the famous story of the "taming of the shrew." But the "fast-forward" can never be "took" if he does not agree to voluntarily cede the leadership.
the Process
Sensible
Entering
A man. Otherwise, sooner or later, the man will abandon attempts to “tamper”. That is why during the "taming of the shrew" a man only initiates the process, to support the process and ensure its development is the task of a woman. If she refuses, there will be a gender struggle.
Being a real woman is not an easy task: on the one hand, a woman should take care not to take away the power from a man, on the other hand, she can not afford to turn into a rag, which her partner will wipe his legs. And although, in fact, it is not so difficult to do, a woman should always be clearly aware of what she is going to achieve. To help us understand this idea, let’s look at an example.
Imagine that you are working as a personal secretary of the executive director of a company. It goes without saying that if you want to take power away from your boss, he will immediately put you in your place. You may notice that your boss is hesitant for a while before making a final decision. Perhaps he is not competent enough, or maybe he just feels uncomfortable because of the need to use his power against a certain employee. But even if it is difficult for him to make a decision lightning fast, you should not be deceived into believing that he does not know what to do. No, he probably finds it hard to admit to himself what he already knows will be his “last word.”
Lost or feeling.
Everything can, of course, happen differently... as in the famous story of the "taming of the shrew." But the "fast" can never be "tamed" if he does not agree to voluntarily cede leadership to a man. Otherwise, sooner or later, the man will abandon attempts to “tamper”. That is why during the "taming of the shrew" a man only initiates the process, to support the process and ensure its development is the task of a woman. If she refuses, there will be a gender struggle.
Being a real woman is not an easy task: on the one hand, a woman should take care not to take away the power from a man, on the other hand, she can not afford to turn into a rag, which her partner will wipe his legs. Although, p
This is not so difficult to do, a woman should always be clearly aware of what she is going to achieve. To help us understand this idea, let’s look at an example.
Imagine that you are working as a personal secretary of the executive director of a company. It goes without saying that if you want to take power away from your boss, he will immediately put you in your place. You may notice that your boss is hesitant for a while before making a final decision. Perhaps he is not competent enough, or maybe he just feels uncomfortable because of the need to use his power against a certain employee. But even if it is difficult for him to make a decision lightning fast, you should not be deceived into believing that he does not know what to do. No, he probably finds it hard to admit to himself what he already knows will be his “last word.”
Lost or feeling.
So, if your boss trusts you, he will surely share his dilemma with you. But do not forget about caution! If you are going to play the role of mommy, in any case do not show him this, otherwise he immediately decides that you consider him a worthless weakling, and will distance you from yourself. You should help your boss to make the right decision, but this should be done so that he feels your support and so that he does not feel like he just agreed to the persuasion of “mommy”.
In this case, the best tactic is to listen to your boss, and then express your opinion on how you understand his problem, instead of advising on how to act. Remember, it is your decision to make, not yours. And yet you can give him invaluable help by making it clear that you believe in him and his ability to make the right decisions. You can also tell him that you think he holds such a position because other employees also consider him the best specialist, and you have no doubt that the decision will be made taking into account the interests of the whole team. In conversation, it is also desirable to hint that, even if one of the employees his decision now will not taste, over time, everyone will be able to appreciate his wisdom.
Expressing respect for your boss and your faith in him, you help him to show all the best that is in him. He will stop arguing with you, and will begin to listen to your opinion and soon be able to make a decision from which he previously hid his head like an ostrich. Although you had to babysit your boss holding his hand, you never tried to encroach on his power. No, you supported him with all your might. The poor man will never suspect that you have been babysitting him, essentially guiding his every move. But even if he sees through you, he will only smile at you understandingly, feeling grateful in his soul that you supported him in a moment of weakness. Everyone has their Achilles’ heel, everyone has moments of weakness, but no one likes to be punched in the face at their own flaws.
If you treat your boss this way, he will trust you more and more, and it won’t be long before you reach the same position in the office as he does. No, he’ll still be the CEO, and you’ll still be his personal secretary, but everyone will know that you and your boss are an invincible team that can, if necessary, stand up to the entire board of directors. More and more often your boss will dedicate you to his secrets, share with you his thoughts, while more willing to listen to your opinion. Yes, so a man becomes a hunter, but the power that sends his arrows belongs to a woman! For her, he will move the mountains, for her, he will drain the seas!
In this example, it is easy to see what influence a woman can have in a man’s life. In fact, every man can be realized in life only as much as his woman can prove herself as a real woman. And here the first step should be taken by a woman, since in the end it is her faith in a man that makes him a real man. This does not mean that a man cannot become a real man without female help, but here it is clearly seen that there is only one life, where there is only one awareness between the two poles - a man and a woman - and these two poles are necessary for unity.
Not that a man was “the most important” woman and not that he could not exist without her support, but one thing is undeniable: both of them need each other for cooperation. For without this reasonable cooperation, neither man nor woman will be able to realize their full potential.
For this example, the “production” scene was chosen only because it was easier to understand. But these same principles retain their significance in personal relationships: between wife and husband, between sister and brother, between mother and her adult son. If a woman is aware that everything she does is aimed at the realization of her dreams, and this dream is to see in her man an ideal, she feels confident in this life - that is, she feels like a woman.
Hence, the question is not whether you are inferior to a man when you step back into the background, the question is to show your mind in cooperation when male and female forces are involved. Regardless of who the woman is: whether a secretary, wife or mother, printing letters, arranging business meetings, my dishes and washing clothes, she realizes that she is fulfilling her dream by supporting her man, and he, in turn, will move mountains for her. Well, you have a choice: whether to become a variety and do all the men’s work as a second man on your own or be a real woman, so that for you all this was done by a man. You win in both cases. But in the first case, you will lose respect for yourself as a woman and no man will truly respect you. In the second case, you gain self-esteem and any man will try to jump above his own head, just to get your respect!
It seems to me that as long as "we have not downplayed the role of women in anything, we have not talked about it as a "lower" being. But here again the question arises: "Does a man show weakness, seeking support in a woman?" And we answer: case!" A man can only be called weak if he refuses to be a leader and, instead of making his own decision, waits for a woman to do it for him. Receiving assistance from
"No. Not at all.
In any case, a man does not show weakness. On the contrary, as we have already seen, he can climb unprecedented heights, which he could not dream of, without being next to him woman. Upon reaching these heights, he immediately elevates a woman to his level in the hope that she will continue to support him. This is a reasonable cooperation, the most reasonable cooperation, which has nothing to do with the desire to hide behind the mother’s skirt! And yet the most important point underlying this myth is the fact that female knowledge is fundamentally different from male knowledge. Simply put, all female knowledge is based on the idea of support, while male knowledge is based on the idea of leadership. Here it should be remembered that knowledge acquired through experience is power: knowledge is something that can be used at any time, and everything that can be used is power. For example, if you have money in the bank, you have financial strength. If you have political knowledge, then you have political power, because you can always use this knowledge.
However, since knowledge is power, try to realize that a woman’s power is determined by a woman’s ability to support a man. But with this ability it is as with any other: we are in life, either knowing that we can easily develop it, or realizing that for its development we will need a lot of sweat. Any so-called talent that we possess is nothing but clear knowledge acquired in previous lives. And this means that knowledge does not fall to us simply from the sky or that we suddenly begin to show abilities that we did not even know existed before.
And yet, apart from the knowledge acquired in previous incarnations, we can engage in the acquisition of knowledge in this life. So we have two kinds of knowledge. Both of these types of knowledge are our potential.
The only
So when we speak of the power or knowledge of woman, we must recognize that the knowledge that can be used consciously is that which we have acquired in this life. What you have learned in your past life can be seen as
Innate talent, but until a woman learns to use this talent, he remains out of her reach. This means that although a woman will feel right about what to do and how to do it, such knowledge will not give her anything until she learns to trust her feelings. To act according to the senses is what I call “learning to listen to one’s own heart,” the same thing we discussed in previous chapters when we talked about intuition, about the sense of purpose.
This is one of the most important points, since often women do not support men not because they do not want to do it, but only because of the inability to use intuition, to follow a sense of purpose. Let's look at a few examples. For example, a woman feels that her husband is ready to make the wrong decision, but, having no solid evidence, he does not dare to express his doubts out loud. Without expressing her doubts, such a woman not only weakens her position, but also fails her husband, who expected support from her at a critical moment. No, she should not tell him what to do, but, having expressed her fears at the appropriate time, a woman gives her husband an opportunity to look at the situation in a new way, to overestimate his decisions. Thus, having expressed her fears, a woman supports her husband, helps him to make the right decision, and does not retreat to the background, fearing to make a mistake, leaving him alone with the problem. Even if her opinion is wrong, it is not significant, because the decision is still made by the husband, not by her. Expressing her opinion, a woman only gives her husband an opportunity to assess the situation in a new way.
Now imagine a woman who feels that her husband has a passion, but since she has no solid evidence of treason, she does not express her suspicions to him, but simply remains silent. With her silence, such a woman provokes her husband to continue the affair. If the wife does ask the husband to explain himself, she will support him, encouraging him to make the right decision regarding their marriage. Here we should discuss another important point. Often a woman has bad feelings or feelings that seem to her to be such. Not wanting to be “bad” or seem “bad,” a woman drives these feelings away instead.
to express them. This conclusion follows from both examples above. But it is also clear that, fearing to appear bad because of her bad feelings, such a woman cannot give her husband the support he needs. There is nothing wrong with bad feelings, because it is only through bad feelings that we sometimes manage to avoid trouble. That is why, listening to your own heart, you should not ignore bad feelings. Life does not consist entirely of benevolent experiences. There is room in it for bad events, and in order for our experience to be free of gaps, we must experience everything, including bad events, which are inevitably accompanied by bad feelings.
Chapter Thirteen. Myth Eight: a woman should be married
The true meaning of this myth is that a woman must be true. However, we should not accept this at face value, because we always remember: the only possible loyalty is loyalty to oneself. The fact is that it is impossible to be faithful to someone or something outside of ourselves, but if we try hard, we will only infringe on our own freedom.
The idea of marriage and fidelity comes down to the fact that two people should remain faithful to their inner “half”, for which the external partner plays the role of a mirror. Hence, when they say that a woman should be married, they mean that she should be faithful to her “inner man”. But such fidelity does not at all imply that a woman must necessarily be married (in the traditional sense of the word). It implies some kind of inner indestructible fidelity, but attitude to his inner man. However, in practice, you can learn the only way: to use all mirrors. Because it is incredibly difficult for us to see ourselves objectively, we all need a physical mirror to determine where the opposite pole of our awareness lies. But I stress again that this does not imply marriage at all, as you can see from the example of the director and his personal secretary. That's what I'm doing.
"External" men as
marriage,
more precisely,
I stop only because I want to debunk the popular opinion that a person’s life did not take place if he did not marry (especially if this person is a woman).
Collaborate
with the opposite pole
None of us is able to know our full potential unless we become aware of ourselves. After all, to consist of only one pole means to be half-human, and there can be no half-woman. It can be either a whole woman or nothing — like a magnet can not have only one pole. Therefore, a woman can be a real woman only if she is married to her opposite pole, that is, faithful to her inner man. In order to maintain this fidelity, a woman must be faithful to the mirror in which this inner man is reflected, that is, to the outer man. All this implies the need for reasonable cooperation, which we are talking about all the time.
We will never know how to cooperate with our inner partner if we do not have the opportunity to learn how to cooperate with our physical mirror. By studying the external men who met in her life, a woman learns how they relate to her. At the same time, a woman will also learn how to distinguish the two poles of her own awareness and how these poles can complement each other.
Here there is always a sacramental question: "How to do it?" Unfortunately, in this case, you can only learn from your own experience. People always strive to get ahead of events and learn about everything before the beginning, but in life it does not happen. If this were the case, we would not have been born yet. We begin to understand how things happen only after we start to do it. This also applies to our subject: if you want to know how what is described here, start putting it into practice, gain experience using the book as a guide. This experience will become your knowledge, and by acquiring knowledge, you will understand that there is nothing more to understand! We seek understanding only when we have no knowledge.
The only advice I can give you here is that if you don’t know what cooperation with your inner man is, learn to cooperate with your outer man. If you want to know what it means to be a real woman, study your polar opposite - the man of your life. There is no alternative. If you want to know what peace is, study war. If you do not see the darkness, you will not know what light is. That’s why you’ll never understand yourself until you learn your polar opposite. And you will never understand what your inner man is until you start to study the outer man - because you can not judge your own appearance without using a mirror.
The easiest way to choose the right direction is to start studying your own behavior. Make a list of all those times when you don’t use outside men as a mirror that reflects your behavior when you refuse to cooperate with them. If you manage to complete the exercise, you will be amazed at the ease with which you will abandon all reproaches against men, because what you previously looked at as the characteristics of the behavior of men, in fact, turned out to be your own inability to cooperate with them.
Although the scope of this chapter may seem too modest to you, in fact, more information is given here than you can digest in a lifetime. After all, the study of men who meet on your life path, using them as mirrors in which your inner partner is reflected, and then cooperating with them taking into account the experience gained is a lifelong task! What more do you want? I can't learn for you. I can't search for you. Only you can learn and seek the cooperation you need. If you do, you will no longer need a teacher.
Now you may not even know where to start. But it doesn't matter. Life has no beginning and no end, so we can start anywhere, anytime. Even if you just admit to yourself that while you are at a loss, this can be the beginning of learning. How? Maybe it’s the first time you’ve honestly admitted to yourself that you don’t really know what it means to be a woman.
One
Search
The word —
Cooperation
with a man of the opposite sex. This in itself is an invaluable realization, a very subtle state of mind, for before we can realize that all our old ideas about life were just a chaotic mix of preconceived notions and prejudices, new knowledge remains for us behind seven seals. So do not despair if you think that there is no further way. When you realize your ignorance, you have already taken a step in the right direction, because you are open to knowledge. When you open up, you will inevitably start learning, and every new insight, every new experience you have gained will help you take the next step — the step that in turn will help you open up to knowledge even more. The main thing is to start. It doesn’t matter how you start. And remember, understanding is only for fools, for those who are too lazy to want to learn.
only
Get
Thank you
Understanding is the ability to absorb information from other people’s words. But here you do not need information - you need knowledge, and knowledge can be experience. And one more necessary advice: if you have not read my books yet, I recommend you to read the book "Oh, this is happiness!"*, opening this series, because it is in this book that I explain the importance of working with mirrors. And here I did not repeat myself. Why talk about what has already been discussed in another book? In addition, in my previous things about mirrors told much more than in this little book.
My own
But whatever you do, never forget that working with mirrors is based on the concept of collaboration, or, if you like, the concept of support. Look in the mirror and see the reflection there, go where your heart will lead you. Never support weakness. To support weakness is to support no one, not even yourself. Learn to work with mirrors in a way that supports strength. In other words, keep the truth, the good and the beauty in your mirrors. If you learn this, you will be able to discover these qualities in yourself - our mirrors never lie. Only you are in the mirror!
Chapter Fourteen. Myth Nine: a woman is a sexual object
We now come to the final myth, and the principle it contains—that a woman should conceive—is undoubtedly the most important. All the principles discussed earlier thus seem to be no more than steps towards understanding this principle. I know that the reader may feel I am contradicting myself, since I have already stated that Myth One is the most important. But there is no contradiction. Why? Because Myth One and this final myth are essentially two sides of the same coin. The first myth reveals the truth that a woman is a man’s negative partner, that is, his opposite pole. In this final myth, we see that the essence of this polarity lies in conception and childbearing.
Thus, this medal, which is a female secret, has two sides - negativity and childbirth. Over time, we will understand what this means, but first let’s deviate slightly from the topic and dwell on another polarity — the masculine beginning. We talked about the need for this in the previous chapter.
The male principle, or manifestation of the spirit of the man, creates. All this is good, but creation imposes a huge responsibility. We know that anything can be created. Thus, a man can create both chaos and order. It can create happiness or misery. It can create war or peace, evolution or involution, happiness or unhappiness, health or disease, rise or fall. In short, a man can create forms that elevate life, but he can also create monsters that destroy life. As we have seen, the purpose of women is to cooperate, support and nurture. Have you ever noticed the important role that women play in a man’s life? What are you going to support? What elevates? Or what destroys? I hear the cries of discontent. “Why,” you ask, “why can’t I nurture and sustain my own creation? After all, what can a man do, what can he do?
Can't I do it? And I am sure that I will not create monsters that destroy life! ”
That's a good question, my friends, but I can't answer it. Can you? Remember, it was not I who created men and women, much less men and women. I'm just trying to show you what it is. It is not in my power to change things. You think you can do it? Try it, nothing holds you back! Try your best, but don’t forget what it will cost you. Do you want to feel like a creator? Do your best! But you can create with the same success with which a man can conceive a fetus. You have a uterus for conception, but no penis for fertilization. Modern medicine has learned to change the body. But it cannot change the polarity of awareness. Yes, medicine can transform your body into a male body, but it is not able to give you the opportunity to fertilize, create. Of course, you can bet, "All this is true, but a woman can create her own enterprise. Or she can paint a picture, make a drawing of a new car, write a piece of music... Yes, she can create anything she wants!" And I'll say, "Yes, she can, but will it be true creativity?" How many women do you know who can be said to have really created something that has never happened before? I don't know any of them. But I know many women who cared about what men created, how a mother cares about her baby, so that he grew into a creative person. But it is not the mother who creates the child. The mother conceives and gives birth to children, and then takes care that they grow up and become adults. And it’s not a woman who creates business, art, cars or music. If a woman is involved in the creative side of life, it is only in so far as she conceives a fetus and supports the creative process of a man.
Women can only support what is generated by the creative forces of men. That is why, when a woman starts her business, she does not create anything new, but only supports the already existing practice. Similarly, a woman composing a musical work does not create anything new, but, only using existing forms, gives life to a new work. But all these forms were created male - not female. Look at the world as a game. Let's call it chess. Remember that
We are all women (regardless of gender). Therefore, life is not created by us, the female, but by the spirit of man. All we have to do is play chess. Moving the pieces, we create new opportunities that did not exist at the beginning of the game. But can we say what we are doing? We only move chess pieces, opening up the possibilities inherent in the very process of life.
And yet the male principle must create, since it does not look like a female. Why is that? Because women instinctively support the rules of the game. The principle of conception, birth, and then cultivation is inherent in its very nature. Man instinctively wants to understand the game. In doing so, he will interfere with the rules of the game: change them, correct them, improve them until the original game is destroyed. He does this to develop his awareness in the learning process. For him, it’s as natural as hunting and killing to provide his family with food.
Therefore, on the one hand, we see female care aimed at preservation, and on the other hand, male destruction aimed at development. Without the urge of a man to hunt and kill, he and his family would have starved to death. Without the urge of man to destroy the evolution of awareness would be impossible. Without a woman's ability to conceive, there would be no family to feed, and without her ability to nurture and preserve, there would be no life to perpetuate the evolution of awareness. So we see again the double polarity in action and see how important the act of intelligent cooperation is of two aspects, male and female.
Destruction versus preservation, male versus female. But destruction, paradoxically, is a very important element of creativity. It is impossible to create something from nothing. In order to create something, we need different building blocks, and for this we need to take material from somewhere. But I will not dwell in this book on such a concept - multi-volume works are needed to cover it. Therefore, it is enough to say that in order to create, you first need to